In Need Of A Friend
by jacklavigne
Summary: Gabrielle is heartbroken after Xena's death in Japa. Will she be able to move on with her life and find new love? Or will she forever be haunted by thoughts of her dead lover?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: This story shows a possible outcome of what happened to Gabrielle after Xena's death in A Friend In Need. After Xena died, Gabrielle is heartbroken, will she be able to move on and love again? Or will her world end with the life of her soulmate.

Disclaimer: Xena and Gabrielle and the other characters from Xena, The Warrior Priness don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for this story. Which makes me sad, but, Alexandria does. So at least I have one kick ass chick to my name.

I have used the lyrics to two songs in this fanfiction. The Story by Brandi Carlile and A Thousand Years by Christina Perri do not belong to me. I am also just borrowing them for this.

Violence: There will be violence, I mean, it's Xena. It's not overly graphic, but enough to make you cringe in certain parts. There is also a lot of offensive language.

Subtext: Subtext is maintext in this fanfiction. There will be graphic scenes of two women making love, and having sex. Lots and lots of angst and romance. If this bothers you, then you might want to stop reading this now, or you can open your mind and continue.

If you are under the age of eighteen, or this type of story is illegal where you live, then close stop reading now. Close the page.

Author's Note: This is my first Xena fanfiction, and it shows what could have happened to Gabrielle after Xena died in A Friend in Need. You may be confused for the first few chapters, but everything will start to come together eventually.

Comments are very much appreciated.

If you wish to send them to me, my email is

Enjoy the show! Or so to speak.

In Need Of A Friend

By jacklavigne

**Prologue**

They say when you lose the one you love, it's like having your heart ripped out of your chest. They were wrong.

It was _so_ much worse.

It felt like my heart had exploded in my chest, tearing up my insides, pulling a scream of pure anguish from my throat. My head was throbbing from the amount of tears I had cried, and my throat was raw from sobbing and screaming at the Gods, or what was left of them anyway. My body ached from lying on the hard wood on the deck of this ship, as it drifted out to sea, in no particular direction, a bit like my mind, which seemed to have left me over the past couple of days.

I held the marble urn that contained my lovers ashes tightly to my chest, my knuckles white with strain from having gripped it for so long. I still couldn't believe it. That something so breakable could contain something so powerful. That everything that was once the most feared warlord in the Known world was now contained inside something so small.

Though people used to ask me a similar question. How did I, a little slip of a girl, manage to tame the beast that was The Warrior Princess, Destroyer of Nations. I'd just laugh and tell them that you could break a horse with a whip, but to gain it's trust, you only needed a gentle hand. Though I never broke Xena, I did manage to calm the rage in her heart, and soothe her damaged soul with my touch and softly spoken words.

But now she was gone, she had left me, her soul flying up to the Heavens, without me.

And suddenly I felt a white hot burst of anger and betrayl.

How dare she leave me! When she promised that she never would, not even in death. She swore that I was her everything, her soulmate, her one and only. And yet she didn't even think twice about dying, about leaving me here to live out the rest of my life on my own, while she laid in the Fields of Paradise. It was for the greater good, she said.

Well, fuck the greater good! And fuck Akemi for sending for her, and fuck the forty thousand souls that were to be lost forever without the death of my warrior.

All I wanted was Xena, in my arms where she belongs. My lips on hers, our fingers entwined, and our hearts beating as one.

But she's gone. And I'll never again feel her in my arms, while my heart still beats. Never hear her whisper my name, when i'm awake and not dreaming. Never feel her touch which brought me such pleasure.

I don't know how I can possibly go on without her. I have wondered whether I should just take my own life, throw myself over board and let myself sink in the water, so I can join her, but I cannot. I already promised Xena years ago, that if it came to this, I wouldn't spill my own blood. I just never thought it would be this hard.

I have no one now. She's gone. I'm alone. Empty.

I wonder if the emptiness can ever be filled? I doubt it.

A friend in need, is what I am. A friend in need of a friend, that no longer breathes.

To be continued in Chapter One.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Xena and Gabrielle and the other characters from Xena, The Warrior Priness don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for this story. Which makes me sad, but, Alexandria does. So at least I have one kick ass chick to my name.

In the first chapter I have used the lyrics for the song, The Story by Brandi Carlile. It does not belong to me and i'm also just borrowing it for this story.

Violence: There will be violence, I mean, it's Xena. It's not overly graphic, but enough to make you cringe in certain parts. There is also a lot of offensive language.

Subtext: Subtext is maintext in this fanfiction. There will be graphic scenes of two women making love, and having sex. Lots and lots of angst and romance. If this bothers you, then you might want to stop reading this now, or you can open your mind and continue.

If you are under the age of eighteen, or this type of story is illegal where you live, then close stop reading now. Close the page.

Author's Note: The first chapter starts off almost a year after Xena's death in Japa, with Gabrielle currently residing with the Amazons.

Comments are very much appreciated.

If you wish to send them to me, my email is

**Chapter One **

_All of these lines upon my face  
Tell you the story of who I am  
So many stories of where I've been  
And how I got to where I am  
But these stories don't mean anything  
When you've got no one to tell them to  
It's true, I was made for you_

_The Story by Brandi Carlile _

Gabrielle awoke to a soft knocking on her door, and the warmth of the early morning sun on her skin, as it pierced through the curtains that covered the windows in her hut. She opened one eye slowly, surveying her surroundings before opening her other, blinking rapidly as the remainder of the dream she'd been having raced through her mind.

_Strong hands trailing over her ribcage, soft lips and tongue sliding across her collarbone..._

Another soft knock on her door chased the rest of the images out of her head and she sighed, sitting up, pulling the soft deer skin blanket up her chest to hide her nakedness as she did.

"Come in, Eponin," She called as she leant back against the headboard of her large bed.

The door to her hut opened slowly, a dark head peeking through to show the smiling face of the Amazons weapons master. Gabrielle smiled back at her as the Amazon stepped into the hut, closing the door quietly behind her. Even after all the years that had past since Gabrielle had first met Eponin in the Amazon village, little had changed about her. While Gabrielle had been asleep for twenty five years, managing to keep her youth, the Amazon had been very much awake and yet, she had changed very little. Despite the small wrinkles around her eyes, and the light grey that streaked her otherwise dark brown hair, she looked exactly the same.

"Something must be bad for you to knock on my door at such an early hour, Ep?" Gabrielle asked as she wiped sleep from her eyes.

Eponin smiled sheepishly, her chocolate brown eyes taking in her Queen's messy hair, and slightly glazed eyes, before drifting down her body. She was able to make out the muscular form hidden under the blanket, but only just. She cleared her throat before looking back up into the queen's emerald eyes.

"I'm sorry to wake you, My Queen, but our scouts just came back from their mission with important details of King Delvin's army," Eponin replied. "I thought you might want to hear the news as soon as possible."

Gabrielle's eyes hardened upon the Amazons words, her body tensing up as she thought about the possible information that her scouts had returned with. _King Delvin_, she thought. _What a giant pain in my ass_.

"Thanks, Ep," She sighed. "Get Elise and Alicia some food and water, and take them to the Council room and I'll meet you there in half a candlemark."

Eponin nodded her head, bringing her closed fist to her heart in a salute to her Queen before quickly departing the Queen's hut.

Leaning back against the headboard, Gabrielle closed her eyes and gently rubbed her temples to try and get rid of the headache she could feel starting to pound in her head. She had been with the Amazon's for a few moons now, after spending almost a half a year stumbling through Egypt. After a Amazon messenger had finally found her and a new friend she had made in the middle of the desert, they told her that the Amazons had been repeatedly attacked by this King Delvin, who wanted his name to be in the history books forever as the man that took out the fearsome women warriors, and pleaded with her to return to her Nation. And returning to Greece seemed like the right thing to do, as much as it hurt since Xena had died.

"Xena," Gabrielle whispered, her voice breaking as she thought of her soulmate. There was never a moment when the Warrior Princess wasn't on her mind. She still remembered everything, though for a small amount of time, she had desperately tried to forget. The pain was still as fresh as it had been all those moons ago, when she had looked out at the sunset, with Xena's spirit sitting next to her on the top of that mountain in Japa. After they had boarded the ship, and set out to the high sea's, Xena's spirit had slowly faded away, until it was only Gabrielle left, lying on the deck of the ship, with her pain as her only company.

Slowly pushing herself out of bed, Gabrielle grabbed her leathers and put them on, then slipped her sais into her boots before walking out of her hut, closing the door behind her and attempting to leave her anguish inside, so that she could deal with the things that the new day brought.

She squinted her eyes against the deep orange sun as it made it's way slowly above the trees of the forest that surrounded the village. She ran a hand through her short blonde locks before setting out towards the Council hut.

As she passed by the Practise grounds, she listened to the clanging of swords, as metal crashed against metal, and the loud thumps of wood hitting wood as her people sparred with staffs. She looked over the field, smiling slightly as her eyes caught a glimpse of deep red hair, and dark, midnight blue eyes. She stopped and watched for a while as the warrior woman laughed, easily besting her five opponents with the swords she held in each of her hands. She looked on as another five Amazons quickly surrounded the woman, their eyes shining with determination as they tried to disarm her. The red head just rolled her eyes before ducking under a sword that sliced through the air where her head had just been, then quickly swinging out her leg and kicking the feet out from the Amazon whose face showed her shock as she laid on her back, staring up at the beautiful woman.

"Oh, come on," the red head cried in mock anger. "This is much too easy! I thought you Amazons were supposed to be fierce. I've had a harder fight against a litter of kittens!"

The remaining four Amazons cried out in anger and frustration as they all charged the warrior at once. Gabrielle watched, a familiar tingle running up her spine as the woman quickly flipped over the suprised Amazons, and then kicked one in the square of her back, sending her sprawling into the dirt. She taunted the other three into attacking her once more, fighting furiously until they were all laid in various positons in the dirt surrounding her.

The red head walked around the moaning bodies of the warrior women, shaking her head and smiling before looking up at catching Gabrielle's eyes. The womans face broke into a grin as she stepped over one of the Amazons and started making her way over to the small blonde, who could only laugh.

"My Queen," the womans deep voice rumbled, as she nodded her head at Gabrielle respectfully.

"Must you call me that, Alexandria?" Gabrielle sighed in frustration, before turning and walking towards to Council hut once again. "You're not even an Amazon, and it's bad enough that everyone else here seems to have forgotten my name."

Alexandria laughed and gently patted the blonde on the back, as she fell into step besides her.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it," she replied, her deep blue eyes sparkling. "The look on your face is just too much, love."

Gabrielle felt her heart skip a beat in her chest as she caught the sweet endearment from the beautiful woman walking next to her. Glancing out the corner of her eye, she looked at her, watching the sun make the warriors lightly tanned skin seem to sparkle, her deep blood red hair falling to just above her shoulders, and surrounding the face that could have easily bested the beauty of the Goddess of Love herself.

"You're impossible, you know that?" Gabrielle said softly, cringing as her voice broke slightly.

_Goddamnit Gabrielle_, she thought to herself as Alexandria looked at her, her head tilted slightly in question. _Get a grip. Alexandria is your friend. Just a friend. If not for her, who knows where you'd be right now_. _Don't screw this up._

She grinned at the woman walking besides her, shrugging slightly, as Alexandria just raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrow, smirking.

_But, by the Gods, she reminds me so much of..._

"Don't even say it," Gabrielle whispered to herself, shaking her head as if trying to rid the thought from her mind.

"Say what?" Alexandria asked in confusion, frowning.

"Nothing," Gabrielle replied quickly, avoiding the other womans gaze. "Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud. The scouts are back, did you know?"

"I heard," the warrior replied, frowning even more. "I hope the news is good, I don't know how much more we can take after the last battle."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Gabrielle said, turning her head and smirking at her friend. "The last battle consisted mainly of you kicking some serious ass against the King's men. Hardly any of us were hurt and there were no casualties, at least not on our side. I've only ever seen one other person fight as well as you do, you should be happy."

Gabrielle watched the woman next to her smile sadly, as they reached the door of the Council hut. She gently rested her hand on the red headed woman's forearm as Alexandria moved to open the door.

"What's wrong?" Gabrielle asked in concern. "That's good news, isn't it?"

"Of course," mumbled Alexandria, as she stared at the hand resting on her skin. "It was good news for us, but what about the families on the men that we killed? The wives and children of the men who's blood is on my hands?"

Sighing softly, Gabrielle shook her head, before taking Alexandria's chin in her hand, and gently turning her head until their eyes met, blue searching green.

"You really remind me of her, you know." Gabrielle whispered, her fingers running lightly over Alexandria's cheek. "It hits me really hard when you say things like that. How much you two are alike. Xena was always so guilty over the lives she took before we met, and you're exactly the same."

She watched as the face in front of her hardened slightly at her words, the eyes flashing in anger for a moment and she dropped her hand from the womans face, swallowing as she looked away.

"Sorry," she muttered softly, her words almost impossible to hear. "I know you hate that."

"Being compared to the Destroyer of Nations? I didn't realise it was such an honour," came the icy reply.

Gabrielle whipped her head around, and had to clench her fist to stop herself from striking out at the woman in front of her.

"You didn't know her!" Gabrielle growled, her voice dangerously low. "She changed. She spent all the time we were together trying to repent for the things she did when she was a warlord. She died for the same reason. She gave up her life, to save all those souls, so yes, it is a fucking honour to be compared to her. And I should stab you with my sai for saying something like that about her, and I probably would if I didn't know it wouldn't give me any satisfaction, or take away any of this goddamn pain."

She turned away from Alexandria, trying to control her breathing as she felt the tears push against the back of her eyes, fighting to slip down her cheeks.

"Goddamnit it, Alex," she gasped out, running her fingers through her hair. "You know I didn't mean that."

She heard a soft sigh from behind her and then a hand rested itself upon her shoulder, squeezing slightly.

"You know, you could try," Alexandria said softly into her ear, her warm breath sending bolts of electricity through her body. "It might make you feel better."

"What?" Gabrielle croaked, turning her head to look into the face of the woman who she become close friends with.

"Stabbing me with your sai," Alexandria smiled, gently squeezing Gabrielle's shoulder again. "Though we've tried that before, haven't we?"

Gabrielle laughed, dropping her head forwards and smiling as she remembered the first time she met the red headed warrior.

"Yeah, I remember," she whispered softly, closing her eyes.

_She was stumbling through the desert, her hand shielding her eyes from the sand that was whipping around her._

_"Goddamn sandstorms," Gabrielle grumbled as she staggered along in the soft sand under her feet. "I can't see a thing."_

_Her throat was dry from the sand and she had run out of water a few days ago, and then this sandstorm had started. It was just her luck really. First she lost Xena, and now she was alone, wandering through the desert, stuck in a sandstorm, without water or food. _

_I'm going to die here, she thought to herself as she once against stumbled over a rock sticking out of the ground, before falling forwards and onto the sand. She groaned softly as she felt her head spin, her vision blurring. She was so tired, and the sun was so hot. She thought she heard the whicker of a horse and smiled to herself as she thought of Argo._

_I wonder where she is, Gabrielle pondered and she lay on the hot sand, her thoughts once again turning to the owner of said horse. Xena would be so angry if anything has happened to her. She loved that goddamn horse, and the mother of it too. _

_"I think I'll just stay here," she whispered to herself as she felt the strong pull of Morpheus beckoning her into his arms. She felt the ground underneath her vibrate as the darkness started to take over, the last thing she saw was a tall shadow emerge from the storm and race towards her._

_"I'll see you soon, Xena," she mumbled and closed her eyes as the darkness won._

_Gabrielle awoke much later, her hands flying to her head as it throbbed in pain. She moaned softly, thinking Hades must have sent her to Tartarus for her body to ache as badly as it did. _

_"Hey, easy there," A soft voice said, as a hand laid itself over her forehead. _

_In seconds, Gabrielle was on her feet and pulling her sais out of her boots, launching herself in the direction the voice came from. Her body collided with another, bigger and much stronger than her own and they rolled along the floor, limbs entwining in an angry dance. Gabrielle gasped as she was pushed onto her back, strong hands holding her arms down as muscular thighs straddled her own. She could felt warm breath mingling with hers and slowly opened her eyes, looking into the blue orbs above her, dark with anger._

_"What the fuck are you doing?" The red head growled, her eyebrows coming together as she looked down at the blonde she had pinned underneath her. "I find you in the middle of the desert, and bring you back to my camp, basically save your life, and I get some little blonde trying to put her dagger thing in my chest. Seriously?"_

_Gabrielle's eyes widened as she looked into the face only inches from her own, forcing down a moan at the feeling of human contact. She hadn't had a body this close to her own for so long, not even for a friendly hug. _

_"S..Sorry?" Gabrielle mumbled, smiling sheepishly at the woman._

_She watched as the red head frowned, before nodding slightly, but still didn't move her body off the blonde, though the grip on her arms loosened slightly. _

_"Who are you? Gabrielle asked as she looked up at the woman._

_She must be a God, she thought to herself, for no woman I have ever seen has been so beautiful, or strong, except Xena._

_"Alexandria," the woman replied, and then seemed to realise where she was and quickly rolled off the blonde woman's body. _

_Gabrielle sat up, gently rubbing her arms, sure she would have bruises later from where Alexandria had gripped her. She watched at the woman walked across the tent they were in, peeking her head out of the entrance before turning back to Gabrielle. Gabrielle couldn't help herself as she looked the woman over. She was easily the height of Xena, if not even a little taller, she had lightly tanned skin and deep red hair, which seemed to contrast perfectly with her beautiful dark blue eyes and perfectly white teeth. She wore leather pants and black boots, with a black and purple leather top, which showed off her perfectly tanned abs. _

_Quickly pulling herself to her feet, Gabrielle looked around the large tent, noticing several different weapons thrown around the place and started to feel a little nervous._

_"I'm - " She started, but Alexandria interrupted her._

_"Gabrielle, Battling Bard of Potadeia," the red headed woman said, smirking slightly as she walked over to sit on a pallet in the corner of the tent. "I know who you are. I know all about you, in fact."_

_"How?" Asked Gabrielle, picking her sais off the floor at her feet and holding them tightly in her hands at her sides._

_"I'm not here to kill you, don't worry," Alexandria laughed, watching as the bard picked up her weapons. "I have no quarrel with you. It's really just a coincidence that I happened upon you in the middle of a desert. I'm a friend of your tribe of Amazons, I have been for many years, which makes me wonder what you're doing out here, especially alone?"_

_"I've never heard of you from them before," Gabrielle replied, avoiding the question she was asked as she slowly started back towards the door._

_"Because they were asked not to mention my presence to you and your travelling companion," Alexandria replied, tilting her head. "Where is Xena by the way?"_

_Gabrielle froze as she stared at the woman in front of her. It was common knowledge that she travelled with the Warrior Princess, but that didn't stop the ache in her chest at the mention of her name. Oh Xena..._

_"She's dead," Gabrielle muttered in a voice void of emotion, but the tears in her eyes gave away her heartache. _

_She watched as the woman's eyes became wide, and everything seemed to stop for a moment as not a sound was made. She turned away from the red head as hastily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand._

_"I didn't think it was possible," she heard Alexandria's whisper, shock in her voice. "The mighty Destroyer of Nations has fallen."_

_"Don't call her that!" Gabrielle screamed angrily and before she realised what she was doing, one of her sais flew from her hand and embedded itself in Alexandria's chest._

_She felt her breath catch in her chest as her emerald orbs locked with shocked blue._

_"Ow," Alexandria muttered, looking down at the sai protruding from her chest, gently running her fingers along the hilt, before gripping it and pulling the blade out slowly. _

_"Don't!" Gabrielle yelled, but watched on in shocked silence as the blade was pulled away to reveal nothing._

_Nothing at all, no blood, no wound, not anything._

_"You are a God," whispered Gabrielle in awe, stumbling back in shock. _

_Alexandria laughed and threw the sai on the pallet next to her, looking up at the blondes pale face. _

_"I'm not a God," she smirked, though there was no humour in her tone. "Just immortal." _

_"How?" Gabrielle found herself asking for the second time in the last candlemark._

_"The one true God," Alexandria said bitterly, touching the blade of the sai next to her, almost lovingly. "He brought me back from the dead many years ago, with this 'gift'."_

_"You were brought back from the dead?" Gabrielle asked in confusion as she stepped closer to the obviously distressed woman._

_"Yes, I was brought back from the dead," Alexandria sighed. "I was murdered years and years ago, by a jealous lover, though, that's another story in itself, not to be told tonight. And I was brought back maybe thirty years ago, just after you and Xena were crucified."_

_"How do you know about that?" Gabrielle asked._

_"Like I said, I'm a friend of the Amazons. I know alot about you, Gabrielle."_

Gabrielle smiled slightly, remembering how she had traveled with Alexandria ever since that day, finding that the woman was much like her soulmate, in so many ways, and yet completely different at the same time. They had started their friendship much the same as hers and Xena's had been, mainly in silence. But it became stronger a lot quicker than it did with Xena. It wasn't long before she started to feel the warmth that the woman hid behind the mask of indifference she wore, and only a little longer to see the deep pain that she carried also, much like her own. They bonded over their hurt, though it was rarely spoken of, and Gabrielle spent alot of time wondering about the mysterious womans past that she spoke very little of. Alexandria had told her that before she had died, she had grown up with her family in a small village, and when her father and older brother were slaughtered by a warlord, she joined an army, though she detested fighting, and that she was murdered by her lover. That was all Gabrielle knew.

She opened her eyes as she felt Alexandria pull her hand from her shoulder and step away, before she turned around to face the woman, who had an odd expression on her face. It was quickly replaced with a smile before she turned to the door, pulling it open and stepping aside.

"After you, My Queen," Alexandria said with a grin.

Gabrielle swatted the womans arm, before laughing and walking through the doorway, Alexandria right behind her.

To be continued in Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Xena and Gabrielle and the other characters from Xena, The Warrior Priness don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for this story. Which makes me sad, but, Alexandria does. So at least I have one kick ass chick to my name. .

Violence: There will be violence, I mean, it's Xena. It's not overly graphic, but enough to make you cringe in certain parts. There is also a lot of offensive language.

Subtext: Subtext is maintext in this fanfiction. There will be graphic scenes of two women making love, and having sex. Lots and lots of angst and romance. If this bothers you, then you might want to stop reading this now, or you can open your mind and continue.

If you are under the age of eighteen, or this type of story is illegal where you live, then close stop reading now. Close the page.

Author's Note: This is my first Xena fanfiction, and it shows what could have happened to Gabrielle after Xena died in A Friend in Need. You may be confused for the first few chapters, but everything will start to come together eventually.

Comments are very much appreciated.

If you wish to send them to me, my email is

**Chapter Two**

Alexandria followed Gabrielle through the door and into the Council Hut, closing the door behind them before scanning the room. She glanced at the faces of the Amazon elders and the many Amazon queens before her eyes landed on Varia, who smiled at her as she walked over to her.

"Good morning," Said Varia softly, glancing towards Gabrielle before looking into at the woman next to her. "The Queen looks a bit strange this morning, you didn't tell her-"

"No," said Alexandria sharply, her eyes boring into Varia's. "I didn't tell her, _and neither will you_. How many times will we go over this?"

Varia shrugged as she looked away from the red headed womans intense gaze and focused once more at the small blonde who was talking quietly to Eponin on the other side of the room.

"She has a right to know," Varia said, as she watched the blonde frown and run her fingers through her hair. "Xena was her lover, you know."

"I know that," Alexandria snapped, her voice tight with barely controlled anger. "You think I haven't been reminded enough in the last year, Varia? Seriously, it's hard looking into her eyes everyday and knowing that I should say something. She wouldn't understand. And I don't think she could handle it."

"She's alot stronger than you give her credit for," Varia mumbled. "She's still here, isn't she? That proves more than any words could."

Both Alexandria and Varia watched as Gabrielle sat down in her chair, Eponin at her shoulder, and listened as the Queen started to speak.

"Elise, Alicia, can you tell us about the army?" Gabrielle asked the two scouts who were standing near the door.

Alicia, a fairly tall Amazon with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes stepped forward, and looked around the room before her eyes fell upon the Queen.

"My Queen, King Delvin's army have regrouped, about a twelve day ride from here. There numbers are large, almost double the amount of warriors we have. There are at least one thousand men now," the blonde Amazon spoke nervously, taking a deep breath before continuing. "The only advantage we have is time, for it will take them a while to march so many men to our borders. But they are well armed, and seasoned soilders. I'm not sure how we will fare against an army of such size and strength."

Alexandria watched as Gabrielle frowned, lowering her eyes to the floor, her jaw clenched in anger. Many different thoughts ran through her head as she watched the Queen. She thought of the fear she felt in her chest, for the women in the Amazon village who had now become her family, especially the small blonde. She felt anger at this man who was so determined to destroy them, merely for his pleasure. And finally, she thought of many different battle stratagies from her years in an army.

"My Queen," she said softly, as Gabrielle looked up and caught her eyes. "If I may speak?"

Gabrielle nodded, but Queen Leandra from one of the Northern tribes yelled at her in outrage before she could voice her thoughts.

"No, you may not speak!" She screamed at her, the woman's hazel eyes blazing in fury. "You're not even an Amazon! The fact that you're in this village, let alone this room, and haven't been tied to the whipping post and lashed is beyond me!"

Alexandria opened her mouth to defend herself but was silenced once again by a menacing growl, coming from the woman next to her.

"How. Dare. You!" Varia hissed at the at the shocked Queen. "If not for Alexandria, we'd all have been slaughtered by now!"

"The only reason she has been of any help, is beause she is immortal and sadly cannot die!" the other woman replied fiercly.

"At least she is here! She fights besides us, asking nothing in return, and yet you stand here and tell her to leave!" Varia yelled, stepping towards the Queen angrily. "You hide behind your warriors and let them fight while Alexandria stands on the front line, taking the lives of men and offering herself up for Hades to send her to Tartarus!"

"Enough!" Gabrielle yelled, her green eyes narrowing in anger. "I will not have anyone speak badly of Alexandria, or they will be tied to the whipping post and lashed, Queen or not!"

The room fell deathly silent, as Varia stepped back towards Alexandria, a smug grin on her face. Alexandria smirked, keeping her eyes forward while gently nudging the dark haired woman next to her.

"Alexandria, you may speak now," Gabrielle said quietly, nodding towards her.

The red haired woman nodded back, clearing her throat and smiling sweetly at Queen Leandra before looking back to Gabrielle.

"My Queen, with such a large army, and so little forces of our own, we need to be a little less honourable this time around," Alexandria said, listening to the whispers from the other Amazons in the room. "I know how proud your people are, but if we are to survive this we need to set some traps for the unsuspecting army."

Gabrielle averted her eyes for a moment, glancing around the room before looking back to the red head, her face thoughtful before she nodded ever so slightly.

"What do you suggest?"

"Various different things," Alexandria shrugged. "We could poison their food and water to begin with, so that a considerable amount of the army is taken out before the battle ever begins."

She watched as Gabrielles eyes narrowed ever so slightly, tilting her head to the side as she regarded the woman in front of her.

"I have seen those methods used before," Gabrielle mumbled, more to herself than to anyone in the room. "They were quite effective."

Alexandria swallowed nervously, looking down at the floor before raising her eyes to the Queen once more.

"Was this stratagy something you picked up in the army you travelled with eariler in your life?" Gabrielle asked her voice vacant of emotion.

She could feel Varia's gaze burning into her back and she was sure at any moment she would burst into flames. She managed to hold the Queen's gaze, making sure her face was expressionless before she replied.

"Yes, My Queen," Alexandria said softly.

Gabrielle stared at her for a few moments more, before blinking after what felt like years to Alexandria.

"Very well," Gabrielle said, slumping in her chair slightly. "If it is what we must do to make sure the Nation survives, then it will be done. I wish to hear your others ideas a bit later, Alexandria, and we shall see what else we can do to ensure our victory."

"Of course, My Queen," Alexandria replied, nodding her head respectfully.

"Unless we have anymore matters to discuss, I wish to get some breakfast," Gabrielle said, her eyes scanning the room for any other requests of her before standing up gracefully. "Very well."

She looked one more time at Alexandria, a slight frown on her face before turning and walking out of the hut.

The room burst into conversation the moment the Queen exited and Alexandria let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

"Shit," she mumbled to herself, running her fingers through her short hair before gently rubbing her temples.

"Shit is right," Varia said from next to her, recieving a glare in response. "Seriously, Alexandria, I think it's time."

"No," the red headed woman growled. "It's time when I say its time."

And without another word, she turned on her heel and marched out of the hut behind the Queen, Varia's sad eyes watching her as she left.

Gabrielle walked away from the Council hut, her head spinning as she tried to straighten out her thoughts. The plan that Alexandria had spoken of had thrown her. She remembered a time in the past when that very plan had played out right in front of her eyes, as a woman from Xena's warlord days attacked them. It had been the same plan Xena had used even more years before that.

"It's not possible," Gabrielle whispered to herself as she walked towards her hut. "It can't be. If Alexandria had been in Xena's army, she would have told me."

She froze mid step and stood in the middle of the Practise grounds where she had met up with Alexandria that very morning.

_Wouldn't she? _

_She's never really spoken about her past to me_, she thought. _Though, at the time of her death, Xena would have been in the middle of her warlord years..._

"No," she muttered to herself, shaking her head as she started walking again. "She would tell me. I know she would."

As she continued her journey to the Queen's hut, deep in thought, she was unaware of the worried dark blue eyes that watched her from outside the Council hut.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: Short chapter today, if you want to comment about it to me, my email is jacklavigne13hotmail .com**

**Chapter Three**

The Queen entered her hut, closing the door quietly behind her, before walking over to the desk in the corner of the room and sitting down heavily. She stared at the open scroll in front of her, before running her fingers over it lovingly. The scroll was old, one of the first she had ever written when she had started travelling with the Warrior Princess. She smiled slightly, closing her eyes as she thought of all the adventures she had been on since she had met Xena. Though, that first day was her clearest memory of all.

It had been a beautiful day, and the women from Potadeia had been out near the lake, washing their clothes and chatting about their husbands and what they were going to cook for dinner that night. Gabrielle didn't pay much attention as she studied the gift of nature around her. She remembered walking back towards the village, through a small clearing, when they were surrounded by slavers. She had tried to talk the men out of capturing them, even offering herself up bravely if they would leave the others alone, and then the magnificent warrior had stepped out the bushes, talk, dark and deadly. Wearing only a shift, with deeply tanned skin and raven coloured hair that contrasted beautifully with her icy blue eyes. The warrior woman fought off all the slavers, battling magnificently, using moves Gabrielle never even imagined possible for a mortal human being. She had saved the women of Potadeia. She had saved her, Gabrielle.

She knew she had loved the warrior, even then. From the moment she looked into those pale blue eyes, she knew her heart was lost. Though, it had taken years for her to finally admit it to herself, and even longer to tell the warrior her feelings. It had been worth it, when she had spilled her heart to Xena, and recieved that bright smile in return, as the dark haired woman had told her she felt the same. The joy she had felt was indescribable.

It was easily the happiest moment of her life.

_And I'll probably never be that happy again_, she thought to herself, reaching up and wiping away the lone tear that started to make it's way down her cheek.

She hadn't felt truly happy since she had stepped foot in Japa. The moment she had entered the small country, she had felt like something was wrong. Like she knew nothing would be the same when she left, and she was right, everything had changed now that Xena was gone. Her life was empty without her soulmate, her body and soul screamed for her lover's company, her touch, her voice, and every morning when she woke up and Xena wasn't there, she felt a little piece of her soul lose its light.

She had felt a little better when she met Alexandria. She had company, and someone to talk to, and even someone to hold her sometimes when she couldn't sleep, but it wasn't enough to ease the painful ache in her heart, that only Xena could cure.

She was hurting, and she was angry, but worst of all, she was lost.

"I can't find my way anymore, Xena," she whispered softly, looking around the hut as if her lover would appear any moment and tell her what to do. "What am I supposed to do without you?"

She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration at the silence that greeted her, before standing up and starting to pace rapidly.

"What am I supposed to do?" She repeated, stopping in the middle of the room and looking up towards the Heavens. "Where do I go now, Xena? What path am I meant to take? How am I supposed to survive without you?"

Her voice cracked with emotion and she felt her throat constrict and tears sting her eyes as they threatened to escape. She felt her rage building up in her chest as she clenched her small hands into fists and screamed at the roof of her hut.

"Where are you now, Xena?" She screamed, her voice trembling. "Where the fuck are you now, that I need you the most? Why did this have to happen? Why didn't you fight harder? Why did you give up? Why the fuck did you leave me?"

She sobbed as she felt her body become suddenly exhausted from the outburst of emotion she had kept locked inside for so long. She felt her legs give way and slumped into an untidy heap on the floor, rocking back and forth as she cried.

"Why did you have to die?" She sobbed brokenly.

She curled up on her side, closing her eyes and cried in anguish until there were no more tears left. Finally, she drifted off into a fitful sleep, her dreams haunted by pale blue eyes.

Gabrielle woke up a while later, frowning at the soft mattress underneath her. She couldn't remember getting up off the floor and crawling into bed. She cracked her eyes open at turned her head, her eyes falling on her bedside table. She couldn't remember making herself a cup of tea either.

She ran her fingers through her hair tiredly before her body tensed, her instincts picking up another prescence in the room. She sat up quickly, lunging for her sais next to the bed and froze as her sea green eyes landed on the figure at her desk. The woman was bathed in a soft glow from the candle on the table besides her, a leather covered leg was thrown over the chairs arm rest, and the woman's hands held a scroll, which she seemed to be reading quite intently.

She frowned at the woman, clearing her throat loudly, but she was ignored. If it hadn't been for the slight smirk that made it's way onto the woman's face, she would have thought the warrior didn't even know she was there.

"It's a crime to enter the Queen's hut without permission you know," Gabrielle said sarcastically as she leaned back against the head board of the bed. "I ought to get the guards in here and have you taken outside and whipped for this violation of privacy."

"The guards are the ones who gave me permission to enter," Alexandria replied, her smile widening but her eyes never leaving the parchment.

"Then I should have the guards whipped," Gabrielle grumbled, closing her eyes.

She heard Alexandria's soft, almost musical laughter and couldn't help the smile that crepy onto her lips. She kept her eyes closed for a few more moments before she heard the scroll being rolled up, and she opened her eyes once more.

"What are you doing here, Alex?" Gabrielle asked quietly, gazing at the red headed woman.

"Well," Alexandria replied, smirking and raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "I heard you cursing the Gods, and thought you might be in trouble, so I came to check on you. I found you passed out of the floor, so I put you to bed. Problem?"

Gabrielle gave the woman a smile smile, leaning over and grasping the still warm cup of tea from her bed side table, raising it slightly towards the warrior before taking a sip.

"Thank you," she said, sighing contentedly as the warm liquid slid down her raw throat, easing the pain from her screaming.

Alexandria gave her a small nod, before turning her head and looking down at the scroll on the desk next to her. She ran her fingers over it, her brow furrowing thoughtfully.

"You write a good story," Alexandria said, not looking up from the scroll as she spoke to the blonde woman. "You tell it better out loud though."

Gabrielle smiled brightly, the compliment lighting a small corner of her heart, and filling her with warmth. The red headed woman looked up at her, returning her smile before standing up.

"I should let you sleep," Alexandria said, as she made her way to the door.

"Don't go," Gabrielle blurted out before she could stop herself. She flushed in embaressment as Alexandria gave her a strange look and averted her eyes from the tall woman, looking around the room.

She looked up in suprise as she felt the woman sit down on the edge of her bed, having not heard her footsteps as she approached her cot. Gabrielle watched as the woman hesitantly reached out her hand before pulling it away again. She looked up into the confused blue eyes that stared back at her, an emotion in them that she couldn't decipher.

She smiled at the unsure warrior woman, before leaning over and grabbing her companion's hand, giving it a soft squeeze before pulling it into her lap, and playing with the long slender fingers, as the warrior watched her with a bemused expression.

"Nothing seems so dark when you're around," Gabrielle whispered, her voice so quiet Alexandria had to strain to hear it. "I don't feel so alone."

Alexandria smiled, giving the blonde woman's hand another gentle squeeze before scooting up the bed to sit next to Gabrielle.

"You'll never be alone, for as long as I breathe," Alexandria replied softly, turning her head and looking into the green eyes that gazed back at her. "I promise."

Gabrielle smiled, feeling the tears once again build up in her eyes, and sighed shakily, before resting her head on the red headed woman's shoulder.

"Thank you," she mumbled, closing her eyes and listening to the steady breathing of the woman next to her, soon falling into a peaceful sleep, feeling sure of something for the first time since Xena had died.

Alexandria would keep her promise. She would never die and leave her.

And in her heart, she felt a small spark of hope, that not everything was lost.

To be continued in Chapter four.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

The next few days passed in a blur as the Amazon Nation began to prepare for the war to come. Gabrielle and Alexandria were both preoccupied with many different tasks, Gabrielle, her queenly duties and Alexandria helping to train the Amazon warriors for the battle ahead. They hardly saw each other, except for a few moments in passing as they discussed more battle stratagies and their worries about the army heading towards them.

It was four days after the scouts had arrived when Gabrielle decided to get away from the crowded village so that she could compose her thoughts. She made her way through the dense forest surrounding the Amazon Nation and towards a small waterfall in an almost magical clearing not far away, where she and Xena used to go to spend time alone together when visiting their friends.

She heard the sound of water long before she arrived to her destination and as she was making her way past the last few trees, she noticed that someone had arrived there before her.

She hurriedly stepped behind a tall oak tree and watched the woman swimming lazily in the small, crystal clear pool. She spied on her for a few minutes before the woman started to emerge from the water and walk towards the grass. She quickly turned around, her back pressed hard against the wood, and held her breath, but curiousity got the better of her and she peeked around the tree once more.

The woman's body was magnificent.

Gabrielle's eyes took in the image greedily as she looked at the woman's perfect face before travelling down the long graceful neck and the broad, muscular shoulders. She felt her breath catch in her chest as her gaze roamed over the perfect, round breasts and down the taut abdomen and thin hips. Her heart beating wildly, her eyes fell even lower, towards the small, dark red patch of hair, covering the woman's hidden treasures and down the muscular thighs and calves that seemed to go on forever.

She was now convinced that this woman was a Goddess, born from the womb of Aphrodite herself.

She turned around til her back was pressed against the tree once more, breathing heavily as she felt a familiar warmth spread through her belly and pool in between her legs. She was unaware once more of the dark blue eyes that gazed at the tree she was leaning against.

_We're just friends_, she thought to herself in frustratation. _By the Gods, she is beautiful though. But she doesn't think of me that way. Though, who could tell? She hides her feelings so well. Maybe even better than Xena used to_.

The warmth in her belly evaporated almost instantly at the thought of her dead lover.

"Goddamn it, Xena," she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. "I miss you so much."

How can I think of another woman like this? Xena has hardly been gone for a year, and here I am, thinking of bedding Alexandria. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Though they had this conversation once, after Gabrielle had been injured fighting the cannibals. She remembered Xena's words to her as they had camped one night, out under the stars.

_"Gabrielle?" Xena whispered softly in her lover's ear, as she ran her fingers lightly up and down the smaller woman's arm that rested over her chest._

_"Mmm?" Gabrielle mumbled, cuddling closer to her soulmate._

_"You had me worried there for a little while, you know?" The dark haired woman said quietly, burying her face in her love's short blonde hair and inhaling the sweet scent._

_Gabrielle smiled sadly, turning her head and pressing a soft kiss against her lover's chest before resting her chin on the soft skinand looking into Xena's pale blue eyes._

_Gods, how she loved those eyes._

_"I know," she mumbled, tilting her head and looking at her soulmate adoringly. "I'm sorry, love. If I hadn't of gotten so caught up feeling guilty about what happened in the desert, it never would have happened."_

_Xena smiled faintly at the blonde woman before leaning up and pressing a kiss to those incredibly soft lips. _

_"It's okay," she whispered into the kiss before pulling back to look into the emerald green orbs before her. "It's one of the things I love about you. How taking a life can affect you so deeply. I hate the pain it causes you, but I love your compassion, Gabrielle. It's who you are, and I love everything about who you are."_

_Gabrielle smiled, tangling her fingers in her lover's dark tresses and capturing her lips once more before leaning back slightly and resting her forehead against Xena's._

_"I don't know what I'd do with you," Gabrielle whispered, gazing lovingly into her soulmate's eyes._

_"I hope you never have to find out," Xena replied, running her fingers over Gabrielle's smooth cheek. "But one day, you might have to."_

_Gabrielle frowned, pulling away from her lover's touch and staring down at the woman in front of her._

_"Don't say that," she said fiercly. "Don't you ever say that. I don't ever want to imagine my life without you. It breaks my heart just thinking about it."_

_Xena smiled sadly before closing her eyes and running her slender fingers through her thick raven coloured hair._

_"Gabrielle," she said, opening her eyes to gaze at the blonde once more. "I know it's hard, but we have to talk about this at some point."_

_"Not right now, we don't," Gabrielle replied stubbornly._

_"Yes, right now, love," Xena said, leaning up and resting on her one of her elbows, taking Gabrielle's hand and entwining their fingers. "It's going to happen one day, baby, and when it does, I want to be sure that you'll be ready. That you know that it's okay to find love after me. I want you to be able to move on when I die. I want to know that you'll be okay and have someone there to love you."_

_"Xena," Gabrielle whispered. "The thought of loving another is impossible for me to even consider."_

_"I know it's hard," Xena replied, gently squeezing her lover's hand before continuing. "I just want you to know it'd be okay, if you found another once I'm gone. Because you know that I'll be waiting for you when you join the afterlife with me. And we'll spend all our lives after this together. It's our destiny to be together for eternity, Gabrielle, and we will. I just want you to be happy in the time it takes for you to join me."_

_Gabrielle swallowed painfully, looking away from her love, as her eyes filled with tears. She wanted to be angry at Xena, to yell and rage, and push these crazy thoughts out of the beautiful mind that she loved so much, but she couldn't find the strength to deny her lover. _

_"I'd want you to find someone to," she said softly. "If I was to die, I would want you to find love in someone's arms til we could be together again."_

_She smiled heavyheartedly as she turned back to Xena, who raised their entwined fingers and gently kissed the back of Gabrielle's hand._

_"Let hope it never comes to that," Xena said before lying back down and pulling Gabrielle into her embrace, holding her tightly. _

_Why did it have to come to this? _Gabrielle thought herself, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes as her breath hitched painfully. _I never wanted this. I never wanted to be left on this earth without you, Xena. It hurts more than I could have ever imagined. When I found Alexandria, I thought it would be easier. I thought the pain would eventually lessen, but it hasn't, and I'm beginning to think that it never will. I can't deny that I lust after Alexandria. But I don't know if I could ever love her, no matter how much she reminds me of you. Because, she isn't you. She'll never be you. No one could ever measure up to you in my eyes. And you not being here, it's killing me._

She took a shuddering breath, wiping her eyes with that back of her hands, and was startled out of her thoughts by a voice from behind her.

"Gabrielle?" Alexandria called. "Is that you?"

Gabrielle cursed as she remembered that Alexandria's hearing was almost as good as Xena's had been. Quickly composing her features into a normal expression and hoping that the warrior woman wouldnt notice her slightly reddened eyes, she stepped out from behind the tree and smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, there you are," Alexandria grinned, as she pulled on her leather top, tying up the laces. "I thought I heard someone stumbling through the forest."

"I'm sorry," Gabrielle replied in embaressment. "I didn't realise that you were here. I was just about to leave."

"Don't be sorry," the red headed woman said, shrugging. "You know I adore your company."

"Do you?" Gabrielle uttered the words before she could stop herself.

"Of course," Alexandria replied in confusion, raising one of her eyebrows. "I have travelled with you for quite a few moons now. Don't you think if I had gotten sick of you, I'd have left by now?"

"I'm sorry," Gabrielle apologised again. "I just... I don't even know. It feels like you've been avoiding me the past couple of days."

Gabrielle watched as a look of alarm covered Alexandria's face, before it was quickly replaced by a warm smile.

"Me? Avoid you?" Alexandria laughed. "It's a bit hard, when you're the Queen of the village we're in. You have eyes everywhere, if you wanted to find me, you'd only have to ask someone."

"I did," Gabrielle frowned, as she stared at the woman only a few feet away. "No one ever seemed to know where you were."

Alexandria shrugged, and rested her hands on her hips as she turned and looked up at the waterfall.

"I'm sorry, My Queen, I didn't mean to intentionally avoid you," Alexandria said, her back still facing the small blonde, so that she couldn't see the frown on her face.

Gabrielle gazed at the woman's back for a few moments before quietly walking up besides her and looking up into her eyes.

"It's all right, Alexandria. I was just being a bit of a sook, I guess. This village has been all work and no play since we stepped across the borders. I just feel like I can let my hair down with you, or so to speak," she laughed softly, running her fingers through her short hair.

Alexandria smiled down at the woman, resting her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "I feel the same."

Gabrielle smiled at the woman, before gazing out at the beautiful sight in front of her, leaning slightly into the warrior besides her, and smiling even more as Alexandria wrapped her arm around the smaller woman's shoulders.

"It's really stunning out here, isn't it?" Gabrielle said softly, worried that if she spoke any louder it would ruin the peaceful moment.

"It truly is," Alexandria replied just as quietly, looking down at the woman besides her with a tiny smile.

Gabrielle felt the warmth in her belly start to return as she turned slightly in the woman's arms, and looked up in the deep blue eyes that she constantly found herself gazing at.

"You really think so?" Gabrielle whispered, her voice so quiet Alexandria had to strain to hear it.

"I do," Alexandria said, tilting her head to the side as she stared back at the blonde in front of her.

Gabrielle bit her lip, her thoughts running through her mind at a million miles an hour. Her mind screamed at her to turn away, but her body begged for her to surrender to the beauty in front of her.

And so she did.

She slowly pushed herself up til she stood on the tips of her toes, and leaned in towards the exquisite woman in front of her. And when her lips were only a breath away from the tempting ones before her...

Alexandria stepped away.

"I- I'm sorry," Alexandria stuttered as Gabrielle stumbled forwards slightly.

Quickly composing herself, even as her face flushed a deep red, Gabrielle shrugged and smiled reassuringly at her friend.

"No, I'm sorry," Gabrielle laughed lightly, trying to mask the dissapointment she felt welling in her chest. "I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid. I know you only think of me as a friend, but I had to try."

She watched as Alexandria turned away from her, running her fingers through her dark red locks, and tugging on them in frustration.

"It's not that," Alexandria said gently, as she closed her eyes. "It's just... My heart belongs to another."

Gabrielle's mouth opened in shock, but she quickly snapped it shut, crossing her arms over her chest as her dissapointment quickly turned to jealousy and anger.

"Now I'm really sorry," Gabrielle mumbled, looking everywhere but at Alexandria and she tried to push down the emotions building inside her. "Is it someone in the village? Is it Varia?"

"No!" Alexandria exclaimed, before laughing. "By the Gods, no."

"Then who?" Gabrielle said as she frowned.

"No one you know," Alexandria sighed, turning around to face her friend. "It doesn't matter, they have been dead for years." _Metaphroically speaking_, she thought to herself.

"I do have feelings for you, Gabrielle," she continued. "I have from the moment I laid eyes on you, even though you were face down in the sand, and you looked a mess, but you were perfect. But, like you, my heart is not my own, and it wouldn't be fair, to either of us. It would never be enough, and we'd only end up hurting one another."

Gabrielle's frown deepened, though her heart was beating rapidly from Alexandria's admission of her feelings for her, she was confused by what else the woman had said.

"Don't you think," Gabrielle muttered. "That if our hearts both belonged to another, that it would be more than fair? That we'd both be able to relate and connect to each other over the fact that the ones we love are no longer with us? Couldn't that bond us closer together if anything?"

Alexandria stared at the small blonde, her features thoughtful as she considered the Queen's words, before sighing softly once more.

"I suppose, that is also a possible out come." She said, turning to look at the waterfall once more.

Gabrielle smiled, stepping closer to the red headed woman, and gently grasped her chin, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Let's give this a test, shall we?" She whispered softly, and before Alexandria could refuse, she leaned up and kissed her.

It was only a slight brushing of their lips, but Gabrielle felt it in every nerve of her small body. Gently tangling her fingers in the warrior's dark red hair, she pushed their lips more firmly together, before pulling away and taking a much needed breath, as it felt like the kiss had stolen it from her very chest.

"Wow," she breathed, looking up into the blue eyes above her, and finding what she was sure was mirrored in her own emerald orbs: Desire.

She reached up to kiss the warrior again, as she felt her need for the woman burn deep inside of her, but Alexandria pulled away, a frown on her face as she looked down at the small blonde.

"I can't, Gabrielle," she said, sighing and shaking her head, before turning away from the sea green eyes that seemed to burn into her soul. "I'm sorry."

And then she walked out of the clearing and into the forest, leaving Gabrielle to watch after her.


	6. Chapter 6

_Authours Note: Hey, sorry it's taken me so long to update this story, I've been having some serious troubles with my laptop, so I brought a new one! I promise I will update a lot quicker from now on. Borrowed lyrics from The Killers - Mr Brightside. I hope you enjoy it!_

_Comments are very much appreciated._

_If you wish to send them to me, my email is _

**In Need Of A Friend **

**Chapter Five**

_It started out with a kiss_

_How did it end up like this?_

_It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss._

_Mr Brightside - The Killers_

Gabrielle stood in the small clearing, staring at the trees where her companion had dissapeared into only moments ago. That wasn't what she had expected, nor what she wanted to happen after she kissed the warrior. She had expected heartfelt words, soft caresses, but not this. Not rejection. She thought maybe that Alexandria would be more willing, that she would want the comfort of anothers arms when she couldn't have the one she truly wanted. She thought they felt the same.

_Maybe that's just what you wanted to believe_, she thought to herself disgustedly. _Maybe you were just being selfish, so when you looked into her eyes, you thought you saw your own desire reflected back. Except it wasn't desire, it was pity, and that's the only reason she let you kiss her. _

She turned back towards the magnicifent waterfall, unable to take in the beauty that she once strived to find in everything around her. She stood there, unable to focus on anything around her, the wind blowing her hair, the sun shining brightly upon her, nor the soft grass grazing her legs. And then they came.

The tears.

Tears of frustration and anger. Tears of rejection and sadness. But most of all, tears of loss, of the one thing that she managed to find in this dark horrible world.

She knew now that without a doubt, Alexandria would be making her way back to the Amazon village to pack her things and leave. The warrior would be too uncomfortable in her prescence to hang around and be forced to see her everyday. And Gods, it hurt. It hurt knowing that the one person that she could count on couldn't stand the even look at her now. It was killing her to know that she was to blame.

_It was only a kiss_, she thought to herself sadly.

_Yeah, only a kiss and you basically spilling your pathetic, broken little heart out to the poor woman. Do you really expect her to want to hang around after that? _

She dropped her head into her hands, gripping her short locks of hair and groaning at the giant mistake she had made. She had ruined everything. They could never go back to what they were before, not after that kiss.

_I have to try_, she thought to herself determindly. _I have to at least try and fix this. I don't think I can live without her now, not when everything else in my life seems to be in pieces. She's the only thing that makes it possible for me to get up in the morning. Just her smile makes the darkest days feel brighter, and her laughter is the only thing that can bring a smile to my own lips. Gods, her lips..._

_No. You can't think about her like that anymore, not if you want to fix this. You need to be strong, and push past these feelings, and maybe one day you can both go back to the way things were before you stupidly stepped foot into this clearing._

Nodding her head in determination, she straightened her leathers and stood tall, well, as tall as she possibily could, and spun on her heel and walked out of the clearing and into the forest.

Alexandria strode briskly through the dark forest, her brow furrowed thoughtfully. She was frustrated, confused, and with every second that passed, she was getting angry. She hadn't expected this at all. The thought of Gabrielle wanting her made her head swim in an ocean of confusion. It just wasn't possible. And it was so very wrong.

_She doesn't know who you are, so how could she possibily know how wrong it is? Maybe if you were a bit more honest with her, to begin with, this never would have happened. _

"I couldn't tell her," she argued with herself, kicking an unfortunate log from her path as she walked. "It would have made things worse."

_I don't think anything could be worse than what just happened. She kissed you. Gabrielle, Queen of the Amazons, Battling Bard of Potadeia and to top it all off, Xena's ex lover, just kissed you. _

Her frown deepened as she continued walking, considering all the possibilities of what could happen now. A million thoughts ran through her mind as she made her way to the Amazon village, her body becoming more and more tense with every step that she took.

_Why can't anything just be easy for me?_ She thought to herself angrily. _Why can't something go right in my life? Why is it that when everything seems to be getting a little brighter, the Gods decide to fuck me over. _

She froze mid step, stumbling over another log which she kicked in frustration, shattering it to pieces as words from long ago ran through her mind.

_"When everything starts to become bright, after a lifetime of darkness, you will know what you have to do. It will be the hardest desicion you've ever had to make, but you will gain what you've been searching for. You will find peace."_

_Peace_, the word sounded so foriegn to her. She didn't even know what it felt like to be at peace with anything anymore. Not until the small blonde Queen had stepped into her life had she started to feel anything remotely similar.

"Fuck!" The red headed warrior growled in frustration. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

She continued her angry march through the forest, until she reached the Amazon nation, nodding towards the Amazon women she passed, before reaching her hut. She stepped inside the large room that held the small amount of possessions she had gained in her many years of travelling and slumped her shoulders in defeat as she walked over to her bed. She reached underneath it, pulling out her bag and started to grab the things she needed for her mission.

Her mind was made up, and somehow she knew what she needed to do, though, she was unsure if it would work. Walking over to her small desk, she strapped her two swords to her back, then slung her bow and arrows that the Amazons had given her over her shoulder before turning around and surveying the room she had stayed in over the past years.

It was hard, standing in this room, in the middle of the village full of people that she loved and cared for, and not knowing if she'd ever be able to return once she left. It would be too difficult, to face the pain of the memories that had been created here in the past few moons.

_You will find peace, _The words echoed in her head once more, and taking one more deep breath, she turned and opened the door to her hut, ready to face what she needed to do.

And she walked straight into Varia, who was standing on the other side.

"Watch it, tall, strong and sexy," Varia laughed, rubbing her skin where Alexandria's black armour slammed into her chest. She ran her eyes up and down the muscular body, raising an eyebrow at the outfit and bags slung over the warriors shoulder. "Where are we going?"

"_We,_" Alexandria emphasised the word while raising an eyebrow of her own. "Are not going anywhere. I, on the other hand, have to go get something before the battle starts."

Varia frowned, searching the deep blue eyes she was gazing into, trying to pull forward the secrets she could see lurking in the oceans before her. As always, she was unsuccessful in her quest for answers about this mysterious woman.

"What do you need to get?" The brunette asked, side stepping in front of the woman who was trying to move past her. "What could be so important that you need to leave now? And why are you so red? What's got you blushing like a little girl?"

Alexandria blushed even harder, averting her eyes from her friend and scanning the village around her. She felt a hand gently touch her chin, forcing her to meet Varia's eyes, and found concern and confusion in the chocolate brown orbs.

"I'm fine, V," Alexandria smiled weakly, reaching her hand up and smoothing the frown lines from Varia's brow. "Don't worry about me. This is just something I need to do."

"Let me help you," replied Varia, leaning into her friend's touch. "Has this got to do with..."

Alexandria nodded to the silent question, sighing and dropping her hand back to her side. Maybe she should take Varia, it would definetly make this easier for her, but she knew she couldn't. She needed to do this alone, so she could get past her demons, and finally move on with her life, and Varia would only be a distraction, no matter how comforting her prescence might be.

"You have to stay here, V. You're the Queen's regent, and Gabrielle's going to need you over the next couple of days. I promise I'll be back before the battle starts, and I might be able to find some help along the way."

"What about when the battle's over?" Varia replied. "Will you stay? Or will you leave us again? The Queen will need you too. She needs you now."

Alexandria said nothing. She pulled her friend into a crushing hug, trying to gather all the strength she could from her companion. Closing her eyes, she knew the answer to Varia's question, without a doubt, and with that thought, a tear slipped from the corner of her eye, and she mourned the friendships she had made, and the home she had found.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Six**

Gabrielle entered the Amazon Village, her eyes scanning the grounds for the red headed warrior she was searching for. She made her way quickly towards Alexandria's hut, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she contemplated everything she wanted to say to the woman.

_Tell her you can't live without her. Tell her that the sun is nothing compared to her smile, her eyes are more beautiful than the ocean, and that the stars dull in comparison to her beauty. Tell her that you long to feel her muscles ripple under your fingertips, your body aches to slide her smooth skin along your own. That the fire in your heart only flares when you see her face. Tell her how you tremble under the slightest caress of her hands, how fast your heart beats when she whispers your name. And tell her how you can forget about everything when you are in her prescence, and that when you look at her, you don't see anyone else._

_Tell her that you love her. _

_I can't, _She thought to herself in frustration. _I can't tell her that I don't see anyone else. When I look at her, I see Xena, I see the same pain in her eyes, I see the way her lips turn upwards in a smirk, I see the way she raises her eyebrow at me. In everything she does, from the way she swings her sword, to the way she eats her breakfast, I see Xena. _

_But she's not Xena, and even though you will always love Xena, because she's your soulmate, you love Alexandria too. You love Alexandria because she didn't leave you, and because she's always stood by you, even in the middle of the desert when you were screaming so loud from your nightmares that they could surely hear you in Rome, she didn't leave you. She's never been cold to you, or tried to turn you away from her, or told you to shut up when you talked too much. She's only ever walked besides you, listening to you talk about Xena, and your life together, and how much you love her. She's always held your hand, and comforted you when you hurt, and embraced you when you cried. _

_But she doesn't love me! _Gabrielle argued with herself, not even noticing she was standing in the middle of the village, several pairs of eyes gazing at her in confusion and worry. _Just like me, she loves another. She's only stood by me, because she doesn't have anyone else, and because she pities me. She's too good a person to leave me, she knows I'd be broken without her company, and that's the only reason she has stayed. _

_Oh, shut up. If she wanted to find someone, she easily could have by now. More than half the Amazons throw themselves at her everyday, and even when you travelled together, women and men were begging for her attention. She may love another, but the one she loves is dead, and instead of crying about it to half the known world, she's been by your side, listening to you moan about how horrible your life is. She wants to be with you, no matter what else she says, she cares about you. You just need to make her see that you care about her too, and NOT because she reminds you of Xena, but because she's what you been searching for since Xena died. She is your peace, and you know it. _

_She's my peace, _Gabrielle's lips quirked into a smile at the thought, her hearting beating impossibly fast and she started moving once more. She quickly broke into a run in her desperation to find the red headed warrior, blindly turning corners until her eyes landed on the woman in question standing in the doorway of her hut. And her heart jumped into her throat at what she saw.

Alexandria and Varia, locked in an embrace, their foreheads resting together, and staring deep into each others eyes with what she could only assume was love and affection.

All the things she had wanted to say left her thoughts immediately at the sight of the two women. She felt the green monster of jealousy rage in her chest, claws ripping at her heart.

She strode towards them, her eyes flashing in anger as she got closer, her hands clenching and unclenching unconciously at her sides.

"Alexandria," she growled once she was only a few steps away from the women.

She watched as both of them turned towards her, shock displayed on their features. Varia hurriedly stepped back from the red headed woman, averting her eyes from her Queen and looking towards the ground.

"I...My Queen, its..." Varia stumbled over her words nervously, looking around desperately for an escape from the angry Queen that seemed to be radiating danger.

"Leave," she growled menacingly at the dark haired woman, who quickly nodded before turning and trying to depart from the awkward situation.

"No, Varia," Alexandria said, gripping the woman's arm desperately, not wanting to be left alone with the blonde. "You're coming with me."

"With you where?" Gabrielle replied for the brunette, stepping forwards as she gazed at Alexandria's hand resting on Varia's shoulder. "Are you leaving me too?"

Alexandria looked up into the hurt green eyes of her friend and felt her heart ache at the sad expression on the blonde woman's face. All traces of anger had dissapeared and turned into a pathetic heartbroken expression.

"I'm not leaving you, Gabrielle," Alexandria said softly. "I just need to leave the village for a few days. I won't be gone for long."

"Why are you taking Varia?" Gabrielle asked, her voice breaking as she looked between the two women, noticing that Alexandria's hand was yet to drop from the Amazon's arm. "Oh. I see."

Alexandria looked towards Varia in confusion before quickly dropping her hand to her side and chuckling nervously.

"Gabrielle, it's not what it looks like."

"Oh really?" Gabrielle replied, her anger starting to build once more. "You tell me that you love another, but swear it's no one I know. No one that even lives anymore. But here you are, with Varia," she spat the Amazon's name as her anger rose even higher.

"There's nothing going on between Alexandria and I, My Queen," Varia tried to reassure her leader, stepping away from Alexandria. "I assure you."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Varia," Gabrielle growled, causing the other two women to flinch at her tone. "The Gods know I shouldn't trust anything that comes out of your mouth since our battle with Mavican."

Varia dropped her head in shame at her Queen's words, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Alexandria on the other hand, felt her control slip with the last of Gabrielle's words.

"Varia," she said, her deep voice laced with danger. "Leave us, now."

Varia looked up into Alexandria's blue eyes, darkened with rage before resting her hand on the woman's shoulder, squeezing it and giving the woman a reassuring smile, recieving a strained one in return before turning and leaving the two women alone.

The two women gazed into each others eyes, battling silently as they tried to stare the other one down. It was Gabrielle who looked away first, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, not daring to look up at the obviously angry woman in front of her. "I had no right to-"

"No, you didn't have any right," Alexandria cut her off angrily. "You had no right at all to speak to Varia like that. She has done nothing wrong."

"You lied to me!" Gabrielle suddenly yelled, shocking both of them, but the blonde regained her control quickly and continued. "You told me there was no one else. I saw you with her. I watched you hold her as if she was the dearest thing to you on this Earth."

"She is very dear to me," Alexandria replied, not taking her eyes off the woman in front of her. "I love her."

Gabrielle felt her heart shatter in heart chest. Her throat closed up as she tried in vain to stop the tears that threatened to fall.

"She is my best friend," Alexandria continued, her voice low. "She's stood by me for years, always questioning every move I make but never straying from my side. She has listened to the deepest secrets in my heart and never once judged me. She loves me regardless of my past and the descions I have made, and I love her. But we are not in love."

Gabrielle swore that what remained of her hurting heart stopped beating for just a moment, before it sped up quickly.

"You're not lovers?" She asked in confusion as she gazed at the red headed warrior who just shook her head.

"No, we are not."

Gabrielle's emotions spiralled out of control and crashed over her like a waterfall and she couldn't contain herself any longer. She threw herself at the red headed woman, feeling Alexandria's arms wrap tightly around her before hurriedly leaning up and catching her lips. The kiss was different to the last one they had shared, it was passionate and hungry, and Gabrielle found herself instantly craving more. She tangled her fingers in her companion's dark red locks and pulled her closer, feeling the strong body mold into her own, extracting a moan from her lips.

She felt Alexandria start to pull away, but she would have none of that this time. Using all her strength, she held on to the beautiful woman, opening her mouth and pressing her tongue persistantly against the perfect lips she was conquering. She felt the body pressed up against hers tense before relaxing, as Alexandria gave herself over to the small blonde and parted her lips. Their tongue's danced together passionately, each fighting for dominance, and Gabrielle whimpered as she felt herself being lifted from the ground and pushed back against the door to Alexandria's hut.

She wrapped her legs around the woman's slim waist, pulling her even closer as her hands ran over ever bit of skin she could find. It was so soft, and she smiled against her companions lips as she felt goosebumps rise on the warrior's skin. She ran her fingers through short deep red hair, dragging her blunt fingernails along the woman's scalp and feeling the warrior shiver. She ripped her mouth away from Alexandria's, immediately missing the soft lips before attaching her own to the perfect neck in front of her. She could feel the rapidly beating pulse beneath her mouth and she smiled before biting down on the delicious flesh, elicting a soft groan from her soon to be lover.

With one hand still buried in the red tresses, her free hand moved behind her own body to hurriedly open the door to the hut. She felt Alexandria stumble a bit as the door swung open, before striding into the room, and kicking the door closed behind them. Gabrielle pulled back, staring into the midnight blue eyes of her friend, as her hands cupped the woman's cheeks before she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I may not know the deepest, darkest parts of your heart," she mumbled against the soft lips. "But I accept you, not matter what you've done, or who you were before. All I know is the woman holding me now, the warrior that somehow managed to find what was left of my own heart and take it from me."

Alexandria let out of a soft whimper at the blonde woman's heartfelt words, before quickly carrying her over to the bed in the corner of the room and laying her precious cargo down carefully.

"What are you saying?" She whispered as she looked down at the beauty lying in the middle of her bed.

Gabrielle smiled warmly, reaching up and pulling the woman down ontop of her, moaning softly as their bodies pressed together deliciously.

"I'm saying, that I don't want to wake up another day without the only thing that shines light into my life," she said softly, looking up into the deep blue eyes that stared down at her.

Any self control that Alexandria had possessed immediately disspeared as she leant down and captured the soft inviting lips of her lover. She ran her hands over the smooth skin of Gabrielle's neck and down her chest before gently massaging the woman's breasts, hidden underneath the soft Amazon leathers.

"This just has to go," Gabrielle muttered, reaching down and unlacing her top, pushing the straps from her shoulders before pullung it from her chest, exposing her her lightly tanned breasts to the cool air, her rose coloured nipples hardening instantly. She ran her hands down her stomach, feeling Alexandria's gaze watching her every move as she pushed her skirt and breeches over her hips and down her legs before kicking them off the bed.

She smiled at the sharp intake of breath from her companion, and she looked up into the dark eyes, almost black with desire as the woman stared down at her body.

Alexandria's eyes searched the perfect body underneath her, as her fingers traced every curve, a memory running through her head of when Gabrielle had asked her if she was a Goddess. She now wondered the same about her small friend. She ran her fingernails down the toned abdomen, feeling the muscles ripple under her slender fingers, and bit her lip against the soft moan that caught in her throat. She felt small, smooth hands gently start removing her own armor and leathers, but she paid them no attention, as she continued to run her hands over firm muscular thighs before raking her fingernails back up the insides of them and feeling the small body underneath her shudder.

She felt herself being pulled down and her lips were once more engaged in a passionate kiss. Her hands continued their discovery of the soft skin as smaller ones ran through her hair, gripping it gently. She felt a thigh push its way between her legs and moaned at the contact against her center, grinding unconciously against the hard muscle. Gabrielle whimpered as she felt the hot liquid coat her thigh with ever thrust of the red headed woman's hips and ran her fingers down the warriors back before grabbing her firm ass and grinding the woman's center against her even harder.

Gabrielle couldn't think about anything except the hot skin pressed against her own, the soft lips that were kissing along her jaw, and strong hands gently massaging her breasts. She ignored the voice in the back of her head screaming at her, ignored the images in her mind of her making love with Xena. She thought about Alexandria, nothing else mattered except for the intoxicating woman ontop of her. She closed her eyes as she felt her need for the woman grow impossibly stronger until she felt almost drunk with desire and pulled one of Alexandria's toned legs between her own, thrusting up against the smooth skin and moaning loudly.

Alexandria's hand left it's spot on her lovers breasts and made it's way between their writhing bodies, pressing her forehead into her the blonde woman's shoulder as she ran her fingers through the soft wet hair in between Gabrielle's legs.

"Please," Gabrielle whimpered, pushing herself into the hand that gently cupped her pussy and opening her legs wider, exposing herself to her lover. "Gods, Alexandria, please. I wanted this to last, but I can't wait. I need you. I need to feel you, all of you."

Alexandria needed no more encouragement as she ran her fingers through her lover's wet sex, moaning at the amount of sweet liquid that covered her fingers. "Fuck, Gabrielle. You're so wet."

Gabrielle groaned as the fingers lightly slid over her opening before two slender fingers pushed their way inside. She cried out in pleasure as Alexandria's fingers buried themselves deep inside her, before slowly pulling out and adding a third finger before pushing back inside, even deeper than before.

"Fuck, Alex," she moaned, throwing her head back and she gripped the woman's strong shoulders. "Oh, Gods."

Alexandria pressed a soft kiss to her lover's neck as she slowly started thrusting in and out of her companion's center, pushing deeper and harder with every stroke. She groaned softly as she felt the velvet walls surrounding her fingers spasm and tighten with her every thrust. She felt Gabrielle's hands make their way back to her ass and grip them tightly, grinding her against the thigh still pressed against her own wetness.

The moans were now coming from both woman constantly, and they grinded against each other, their pace speeding up until they were thrusting against each other wildly, their cries echoing off the hut walls. It was like nothing either of them had imagined it to be. They had expected their first time to be slow, as they discovered each others bodies. Gentle caresses, whispered words, and soft kisses were replaced with urgent, almost rough touches, vulgar thoughts slipping from their lips and conquering tongues. The need they felt was too urgent, and the emptiness inside both of them screamed to be filled with each other. Alexandria thrust her fingers inside her lover as deep and hard as she could, her thumb rubbing Gabrielle's aching clit furiously as she fucked her. Gabrielle met every thrust with her own, continuing to grind Alexandria's pussy against her thigh roughly as she saw a bright light flash in her vision, before her back arched and her body tensed up. She screamed out her lover's named as she descended over the cliff and into climax, the walls of her vagina clenching tightly around the fingers deep inside of her, and she felt the body ontop of her tense also, as Alexandria came with her.

Gabrielle collasped limply on the bed, feeling the comfortable weight of her lover ontop of her and smiled as the bright colours started to fade from her vision. She wrapped her arms weakly around the heavily breathing body entwined with her own and pressed a kiss to Alexandria's sweat matted hair, as she tried to slow the frantic beating of her heart. They laid their for a few moments in silence, catching their breath before Alexandria stirred. The red headed woman leaned up on her elbows and looked down at her lover thoughtfully, before opening her mouth to speak.

Gabrielle quickly covered her companion's lips with her finger, shaking her head gently as she stared into the blue eyes before her.

"Shh," she whispered gently, removing her finger and gently guiding Alexandria's head back down to her chest. "We don't need to talk about this tonight. It's okay. We're okay."

She felt Alexandria's body become rigid, then slowly relax under her soothing hands, before the woman turned her head slightly and pressed a soft kiss right over her heart. Gabrielle smiled and closed her eyes, tightening her arms around the warrior, and was lulled to sleep by the feeling of her lover's heartbeat pressed against her abdomen, beating in time with her own.


	8. Chapter 8

_Authors Note: Hey guys, I don't know how many of you are still reading after the last chapter, I know that might have killed you inside a little bit, but I never said it'd be a happy ending did i? Or that I'd be bringing Xena back. But, I really hope you keep reading, cause there are still a lot of twists and turns to come. If you want to comment on this story, my email is _

_Enjoy!_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Seven**

Alexandria stirred, taking in her surroundings before she dared open her eyes. The air in the hut was warm, and she could smell the lingering scent of sex, along with the unique scent of the Amazon Queen. She couldn't help the smile that slid onto her lips as she felt the weight of her new lover on her chest along with the soft and unbelievably adorable sounds coming from her mouth. Sometime after they had fallen asleep, they had changed their positions, and now Alexandria was laid on her back, with the small blonde half ontop of her. Her smile faultered as she remembered what had happened only hours before.

_"I'm going away for a few days, there's something I need to do."_

"Fuck," Alexandria gasped, cringing as Gabrielle mumbled in her sleep, cuddling closer to the red headed woman.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_ She thought to herself, squeezing her eyes shut tightly, wondering how she managed to make things even more complicated.

Despite how wonderful the night before had been, it had only made things harder for Alexandria. The thought of having to leave now, while she was wrapped in the arms of what she was sure was an angel, was almost impossible to bear.

_This wasn't supposed to happen, you weren't supposed to give into your feelings for her. You were supposed to make things right for her, give her what she needs, not just give her what she wanted at the moment. She doesn't need you, and if she does right now, it's only because you're the only thing she has. You know what she truly needs, so fix this, before it's too late and you can't turn back. _

_Is it too late already? _Alexandria thought to herself, unconciously squeezing the warm body in her arms tighter. _If I leave now, I can fix her, but I will lose even more of myself. She's a part of me now. How can I leave her? What if I can't?_

_You can leave her, and you will. Don't be selfish, she deserves better than you. She deserves someone who can love her completely, give her their whole heart. Your heart isn't yours to give, it belongs to another, and what you have left isn't enough. She deserves more. _

_And what about me? What do I deserve? To continue the rest of my miserable life alone? To let go of the one thing that has brought me happiness since I've returned to the living? The one person that has managed to piece back together the fragments of my broken heart? _

_You will find your peace, you know this. She is your light, your happiness, your home, but she will not give you what you search for. You will only hurt each other more. Let her go now, do what you're so god damn good at, and give up your happiness, for hers. For her._

"For you," Alexandria whispered, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to the blonde's forehead, before gently untangling herself from the warmth of her lover.

She smiled at the mumbled protests, and brushed her lips once more over the soft skin of Gabrielle's cheek before climbing out of the bed, and picking up her clothes that were scattered around the room. Once dressed, she sat down heavily at her desk, lighting the candle beside her, and gazing at the beauty of her lover.

Gabrielle's legs were tangled in the white sheets, leaving her exposed from the waist up. Her tanned skin glowed in the soft light from the candle, her short hair covering most of her face, showing only her slightly parted lips. Her small, muscular body was relaxed, and her left arm was extending over the bed beside her, searching for the body that had left the bed moments ago.

_Truly an angel, _Alexandria sighed to herself, tearing her eyes away from the exquiste sight and turning to the open scroll on the table, picking up a quill. She hesitated for a moment, before the scratching sound of a quill scribbling on parchment filled the room. The letter she wrote was short, knowing that if she made it too long, she would spill everything in her heart out onto the page before her. She wiped her eyes in frustration as they welled with tears, before gently blowing on the page in an attempt to dry it. She stood up from her seat and quietly made her way outside. She came back a few minutes later, and rested something over the scroll, before surveying the Amazon Queen once more.

_"It will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do."_

She let out a shaky breath, before quietly grabbed the rest of her gear, and slowly making her way to the entrance of the hut. She looked back at the beauty in her bed once more, a slight smile on her face, before opening the door and stepping out into the dark night.

Gabrielle awoke for the first time in moons, with a smile on her face. She stretched her arms over her head, smiling even wider as the memories from the night before flashed behind her closed eyelids. She rolled onto her side, throwing her arm out to cuddle into her lover's side and quickly opened her eyes when her hands came into contact with cold sheets. She bolted up right, her eyes scanning the hut for her beautiful bedmate and found herself alone. She frowned to herself as she thought about what business could have made Alexandria leave her in bed when Apollo hadn't even started to pull the sun from below the horizon yet.

Her eyes landed on a piece of parchment on the small desk in the corner of the hut, covered by a white rose and she smiled, reassured that her lover hadn't started to regret the love making they shared the night before. She wrapped the soft deer skin blanket around her shoulders and got out of bed, cringing as her warm feet touched the cold floor before making her way over to the desk. She picked up the beautiful flower, bringing it up to her nose and for the first time in the past year, she stopped to smell the roses. She let the scent wash over her as she closed eyes before opening them again as she seated herself in the small wooden chair and picked up the parchment.

Her bright smile soon turned into a frown as she scanned the words written in front of her. She lowered the scroll, her eyes gazing at the bed in front of her, sheets tangled with the scent of her lover's body still lingering from the night before, before raising the parchment once more and re reading the note Alexandria left for her.

_Dearest Gabrielle,_

_I'm sure when you woke up this morning, you were a little wary when you noticed I wasn't still enjoying your company in bed, weren't you? I just want to ease whatever thoughts are going through your mind with this letter, and maybe explain my absence from your perfect embrace. _

_I do not regret what happened between us last night, how could I? You were wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and so many other things that I can't even begin to describe. It was easily one of the best nights I've ever experienced in the fifty four years that I have walked this Earth. _

_I wanted to wake you up this morning to say goodbye before I went on this small mission. I wanted __**you**__ this morning, but I know how much you love to sleep in, so I let you be. I just wanted to tell you how much that I love your lips, and your eyes, and the small crinkle of your nose when you smile. I really love to see you smile. _

_Many things were left unsaid between us last night, with the hurry of us wanting to engage in, uh.. other activities, and I promise that when I return, after some other more important things are dealt with first, we will discuss them. Because there is __**alot**__ for us to discuss. In the past year that we have travelled with each other, I have not been as honest with you as I should have been over certain things. Like, how I died for instance, or how I became who I am. And why to begin with, I avoided any kind of romantic relationship with you, despite the fact I felt drawn to you from the moment I saw you. _

_When I come back to Amazonia, alot of those things will be explained almost instantly, and as much as I'd like to write it in this letter right now and get it over with, it wouldn't be fair to you. _

_I just want you to know now, before I see you again that I'm sorry. You won't understand why right now, but you will soon. And I want you to know that you've brought out the best in me, parts of me that I didn't even know that still existed. And I'm so grateful to have ever met you, Gabrielle. You are truly an amazing and pure soul, and I can see how someone like you could get even the Destroyer of Nations to fall in love with you. _

_I'll be seeing you._

_Your friend,_

_Alexandria._

Gabrielle bit her lip as she gently rolled up the scroll and placed it on the desk besides her before leaning back in her chair. She was unsure of what that letter truly meant. If she didn't know better, she would think it was Alexandria's subtle way of saying goodbye.

_No_, Gabrielle thought to herself, shaking her head in denial. _No, she said she would never allow me to be alone, as long as she lived. She wouldn't leave me. She'll be back._

Nodding her head, slightly more sure about the content of the letter than before, she stood up and picked her clothes off the floor before dressing and making her way to the door of the hut. She looked back once more at the bed and smiled, before walking out into the early morning sun, glad to be alive for a new day for the first time in moons.


	9. Chapter 9

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Eight**

It was cold, and she was loathe to leave the warmth of her bed, despite the fact the sun was rising higher and higher into the sky with every passing second. She cuddled further into the soft mattress, pushing her face into her pillow and breathed deeply, catching the faint scent of Alexandria. She sighed softly, a tiny smile lighting her features as she nuzzled the pillow, biting her lip as she thought about the red headed warrior.

Two days she had been gone now, and Gabrielle was suprised at how much she actually missed the woman. She'd never really had a chance to miss her in the last year, as the warrior was constantly by her side. But now that she was gone, her chest ached everytime she walked out of the hut, and into the village, knowing that Alexandria wouldn't be there. She knew that the warrior would be back, but every second that passed was a second too long for her, and after their night of lovemaking, she was desperate to be back in those strong arms. To feel those hands that held so much power, caress her so gently.

She had re read the letter Alexandria had left her several times now and there was a growing feeling of unease building inside of her with every day that passed. A part of her was completely confused by the short note, that answered none of the questions that bounced around her head, and the other part of her was terrified that maybe Alexandria wouldn't return to her. And if she did return, would she return to _her _or to the village. She wished now that she had let Alexandria speak after they made love, so that maybe she would know what her companion thought about their situation. And now she was scared that in her time away, Alexandria would come to regret her descion.

_No, _Gabrielle thought to herself angrily. _Stop being so negative. She cares about you, you saw it in her eyes when she touched you, you felt it in every kiss, every embrace. Stop this, and just pray that she returns quickly, and into your arms, your bed and not another's. _

She breathed in her lover's scent once more, cherishing it and hoping it would help her through the long day ahead of her, before throwing off her blankets and sitting up. She looked out of the hut window, staring up at the clear sky and smiled as she wondered what Alexandria was doing now.

"Whatever you're doing, do it quick, because I miss you." She whispered into the empty room. "Whatever it is can't be as important as having you here with me. Come home."

It was freezing, even as the sun started to rise above the tree's, she could feel the cold air slip beneath her cloak and into her bones. She gazed around the dense forest from the on top of her horse as she made her way towards her destination. It had been two days since she had left the Amazon village, and the bed which held the warm body of the Amazon Queen, and she was starting to seriously regret it. The days had passed by slowly, giving her more than enough time to think about what she was doing. She wanted to be angry, to rage and scream about what she had to do. To tell the Gods that it wasn't fair, that she had to give up everything she had found after waiting for so long. But she couldn't.

She was defeated.

After so many years of searching, she had finally found someone that she felt she could love. She had loved once before in her life, and she had been cheated and used, and eventually killed by the one person she cared about. It had taken so many years to move on but there was still a large part of her that couldn't let go. She couldn't let go of the pain, the betrayl, and worst of all, she couldn't let go of the deep, profound love she had felt. Until she met Gabrielle.

The first person in so many years that had finally made her forget about her ex lover, and yet, reminded her of them at the same time. It was so easy to forget her horrible past and painful memories around the small blonde. She felt reborn in her prescence, like a completely different woman, and she mourned the fact that she would probably never feel that way again.

She was so close to where she was going now, the tiny hairs on her skin raised and shivers ran down her spine at the memories of the last time she was here. Her hands tied behind her back, the rough rope cutting into her wrists, those cold eyes staring down at her with anger and jealousy as the blade plunged into her chest. She shuddered, closing her eyes tightly as she fought against the bile rising in her throat. She didn't want to be here, she never wanted to set foot in this clearing again, but she had no choice. This was the only place that the One True God had spoken to her, and she needed him now if she was going to complete this mission.

She felt the air become even colder as she reached the edge of the forest and galloped into a rocky clearing that had been the setting of her nightmares for more than thirty years. She slowed her horse to a trot, her eyes taking in her surroundings as she looked for the almost unnoticable crack in the mountain in front of her. It was only a few moments before she found it, taking a deep breath as she threw her leg over her saddle and slid from her black stallion. She walked towards it slowly, her heart thumping in her chest harder with every step. Tracing her fingers over the hidden doorway, she shuddered, another blast of painful memories playing behind closed eyelids. She forced them back, straightening her shoulders and gathering every last bit of strength she had left, she entered the cave.

It was even darker than she remembered, and she had to run her hands along the tunnel walls as she made her way deeper and deeper into the mountain. The further she went, the more images flashed in her mind, tormenting her and reminding her why she didn't want to do this. Somewhere deep in her heart, she knew things were different now, and this time she would leave this Gods be damned cave unscatched, at least physically, but that didn't nothing to stop the cold fingers that clenched her heart in its icy grasp.

After what felt like hours of walking, which in truth was only a couple of minutes, she heard the sound of running water. She was almost hyperventilating now, dreading every moment that was to come, but she kept moving forwards, despite the voices in her head screaming at her to turn around and never look back. The cave started to grow brighter as she neared the entrance of the place she died, and once she got there, she had to admit it was alot more stunning this time around.

The large cavern was brightly lit from the millions of glow worms hanging from the roof, causing the small waterfall in the centre of the stone room to sparkle beautifuly. The clear pool of water took up half of the stone room, a few stalagmites and boulders taking up the rest. Stalactites protruded from the ceiling, covered in moss and dripping water. There was a clearing before the water's edge, stained with blood from so many years ago, and the grip on Alexandria's heart became impossibly tighter.

She strode forward confidently though her shaking legs betrayed her true feelings. Her hands were clenched into tight fists as she fought the urge to unsheath her swords and ready herself for the emotional battle she was entering. She wasn't afraid of death and at times she had wished for it, and the fact she had died here didn't bother her. It was how she had died that caused her chest to tighten with emotion. She stood on the dust covered stone floor, scuffing her black leather boot against her own blood that marked the place of her death. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled it shakily, before closing her eyes and calling out, her voice echoing off the cavern walls.

"The One True God! Eli! Someone! I need your guidence, your wisdom, your help! You made a promise to me years ago, that you would grant me one reasonable wish if I chose to rejoin the living and do your bidding. I've done as you asked, and now I'm here to take the favour you owe me. Show yourself!"

Her voice bounced off the walls of the cave, ringing in her ears until the room fianlly became silent. She growled in frustration after waiting for several minutes, resisting the urge to turn and leave the cave, much quicker than she entered. But she remained, reminding herself why she was here over and over in her head as she waiting unpatiently for her divine intervention.

The minutes passed slowly, and eventually she decided that the God's were ignoring her plea's and turned the leave the cave. As she did, she caught a figure sitting on a boulder, wrapped in a long while robe, staring at her. She turned towards the man, taking in his long dark hair, beard and bright blue eyes, narrowing her own as he smiled at her.

"Eli, I don't like to be kept waiting. Especially in this place," Alexandria growled, crossing her arms over her chest as Eli laughed, standing up and walking towards her.

"It is good to see you too, Alexandria," he replied, grinning broadly at the red headed woman. "You called for me?"

"Yes, you know why I'm here. You know what I want," Alexandria said softly, averting her gaze from the eyes that seemed to see right through her. "Don't make me say it out loud. It's killing me enough to be here in the first place."

Eli smiled sadly, reaching out and gently resting his hand on the distressed woman's shoulder, he closed his eyes, cocking his head to the side as if straining to hear a conversation. After a few moments he opened his eyes once more, smiling at the warrior before nodding.

"The favour you asked will be paid," Eli said softly, his eyes full of sympathy for the woman. "It will come for a price, but you already know this."

Alexandria nodded, looking over to the waterfall and smiling sadly. She had been told that for the favour, she would need to trade what the One True God had given her. She wouldn't miss it, especially not now.

"I understand," she whispered.

"Then so be it," Eli said, squeezing Alexandria's shoulder gently and turning them both towards the sparkling pool of water before them.

Breathing heavily, her heart beating so hard she was sure it would explode from her chest at any moment, Alexandria reached for the pouch tied to her belt. With shaking hands, she untied it and opened the velvet bag, gazing down at what it contained. With this gritty, almost sand like ash, her whole world would change in an instant. Closing her eyes, she forced her heart to slow down and calmed her breathing until she finally relaxed.

"Here goes nothing," She whispered, turning the bag upside down and pouring its contents into the water.

For a few moments, everything was quiet, and the two figures stood by the waterfall, waiting for something, anything to happen. Alexandria almost breathed a sigh of relief, wondering if maybe The One True God had changed his mind, but then the room exploded with light, blinding her with it's brillance. She covered her eyes with her hand as the floor of the cave began to rumble and shake under her feet, and part of her hoped it would crack open and swallow her. She cried out as she was hit with what she was sure was lightening, dropping to her knee's at the excruciating pain. Her every nerve was on fire as a blinding heat engulfed her heart before exploding from her chest, causing her to gasp with shock at her sudden emptiness.

Ever so slowly, the light faded and the ground became still underneath her. She remained on her knee's, gasping for breath as she gripped her chest, running her fingers over it as she checked for injuries. Slowly lowering her hands, she opened her eyes and gazed at the water, waiting. She couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped from her lips as a figure burst from the pool, water cascading over raven black hair and tanned skin. Pale blue eyes snapped open and caught her own midnight blue, and she wanted to run and hide from the intense gaze, but she was unable.

There she was, in all her stunning, naked glory. The woman she had loved since she was a teenager, the woman she had killed and fought for. The woman that had betrayed her, hurt her so deeply and the woman that killed her. Standing only a few feet away from her, waist deep in water, gazing at her in horror and confusion.

The Lion of Amphipolis, Destroyer of Nations, Bitch of Greece, Slayer of Gods, The Warrior Princess.

"Fuck," Xena muttered. "I'm in Tartarus."


	10. Chapter 10

_Authors Note: Howdy guys. Did I shock you with the last chapter? I told you at the beginning there were a lot of twists! And it's only just begun. I hope you enjoy this one and if you want to email me about it, my email is jacklavigne13 _

_Enjoy the show!_

**I Will Be**

**Chapter Nine**

_"Fuck," Xena muttered. "I'm in Tartarus."_

Alexandria couldn't control the laughter that burst from her mouth: the situation was completely absurd. She was in the exact same position as the last time she entered this cave, and though her hands weren't bound, they may as well have been. She was on her knee's, in front of the Warrior Princess, unable to move or look away from the piercing gaze of the woman she had loved so much for so long.

"You're in Tartarus?" She laughed, her voice tinged with sarcasm. "No, I'm in fucking Tartarus."

Xena stared down at the red headed woman in confusion, moving forwards cautiously and frowning when Alexandria flinched away from her. She gazed around the cavern, her pale blue eyes searching for an explaination as to why she had been removed from the Elysian Fields.

"You shouldn't be here," Xena whispered, returning her gaze to her ex lover. "You don't belong in Hell. You were always good, you deserved the Elysian Fields."

Alexandria laughed again, her body shaking uncontrollably as she dropped her head into her hands. She fought to control her emotions, but they were quickly overwhelming her and soon she was hyperventilating, rocking back and forth as she shook her head.

"Neither of us should be here," Alexandria muttered as she finally gained control of her body, though her heart still thumped painfully in her chest.

"Then why are we?" Xena questioned, walking closer to the red headed woman, stopping at the edge of the pool. "Who brought me here? I was in Elysia and now I'm relieving my one of my worst memories in Hell."

"You're not in Hell, Xena," Alexandria sighed, finally looking up and gazing into the eyes that she dreamt of every night. "And I brought you here."

"What? You? Why?" Xena asked quickly, her teeth chattering as she rubbed her arms while shivering from the cool water.

Alexandria shrugged, pushing herself to her feet before pulling off her cloak and throwing it at the dark haired woman. She gazed around the room and frowed, finding them alone.

"Yeah, thanks Eli," she mumbled angrily. "Leave me here alone to deal with the neverending questions. You bastard."

"What has Eli got to do with this?" Xena asked as she pulled herself from the water and wrapped the cloak around her naked body, still looking at the red head in confusion.

"Will you shut up for a moment?" Alexandria said in exasperation. "And I thought Gabrielle asked alot of questions. Just give me a fucking second."

Alexandria's eyes widened at her unintended admission, looking at Xena to see her eyes widen also and her mouth fall open.

"Gabrielle?" Xena whispered, moving towards Alexandria slowly.

"Okay, let me explain," Alexandria raised her hands up in front of her body, causing Xena to stop a few feet away from her. "It's complicated, all right? But we're not in Hell, and Eli has a lot to do with this. And yes, I know Gabrielle, our meeting wasn't intentional, it was just luck, but we've known each other for a while now."

They stared at each other until Alexandria finally mananged to tear her eyes away from the woman she once thought was her soulmate. Clearing her throat, she motioned towards the entrance, avoiding Xena's questioning gaze.

"Let's get out of here. We'll make camp outside because I don't want to be in here a second longer than I have to."

Xena nodded, watching Alexandria turn away from her and stride out of the cavern and into the tunnel leading outside. She gazed at the small pool she had appeared in, frowning before following the woman out.

The journey out of the cave was made in silence, both women deep in thought, and Alexandria breathed an audible sigh of relief as she stepped into the cool, fresh air. She closed her eyes, taking a moment to compose herself before walking over to her horse, who was grazing at the edge of the clearing. She untied her saddlebags, dropping them on the ground before removing the heavy saddle. She stroked the horse's neck before turning back towards the woman who stood uncertainly behind her. She picked up one of her saddle bag's and threw it at the dark haired woman, nodding as Xena opened the bag and pulled out her dark brown leathers.

"I took them from Gabrielle's hut when I was getting your ashes. I thought you'd be more comfortable in those than anything else. I hope she hasn't noticed yet."

Xena nodded, running her fingers lovingly over the leather, shaking her head in wonder. Alexandria quickly made camp as Xena dressed before pulling out her wine skin and taking a long drag.

"You're going to need this," she said, throwing the skin to Xena, who caught it and just looked at her in confusion. "Or not."

"I'm alive?" Xena asked suddenly, tilting her head as she stared at Alexandria.

"Yes, you're alive," Alexandria replied with a small smile.

"You brought me back?" Xena questioned, frowning.

"Yeah, I brought you back."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, gazing into the small fire Alexandria had built. She had expected to feel angry, she had expected all the emotions that had built up inside of her for thirty years to explode once she saw the woman who had caused her so much pain. But instead, she felt nothing, just empty.

"Why?" Xena whispered, looking away from the flames and staring into the midnight blue eyes that haunted her dreams. "Why would you bring me back? After everything I put you through. After what I did to you in that cave. Why?"

"Because of Gabrielle," Alexandria replied, running her fingers through her short red hair and sighing softly. "I didn't plan it. I didn't even know that I could bring you back, but after the last couple of weeks, I had to try."

"I need to know everything," Xena pleaded. "Please, tell me. Is she okay?"

"Is she okay?" Alexandria snorted, anger starting to finally bubble up in her chest. "Is she fucking okay? What do you think, Xena? You died. You died and you left her. How the fuck do you think she is? Rainbows and fucking butterflies? Of course she's not okay, she's broken without you. I've spent the last year with her, and everytime I look into those eyes, they're haunted. You were everything to her, Xena, and you just left her, without a second thought."

Xena flinched at the harsh words, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She stared into the eyes of her once closest friend, desperately searching for answers.

"Can you just tell me everything?" Xena begged, the first tear making it's way down her cheek. "I know you don't owe me anything, Alex, but please."

Alexandria turned away from the dark haired woman, grinding her teeth. Xena was right, she didn't owe her anything. But she wasn't doing this for Xena: she was doing it for Gabrielle.

_For you, Gabrielle._

"Okay," Alexandria sighed, closing her eyes and resting her head back against the tree she was leaning on. "I guess you want to hear it from the start, right? Of course you do. I don't know much about what happened to Gabrielle right after you died. I know about how you travelled with her as a spirit on a ship for a few days, as she headed towards Egypt, but then you dissapeared. I didn't meet Gabrielle until she had been in Egypt for a few moons, I didn't even know she was there. I was travelling back to my camp after helping some men in a village nearby and I got caught in a sandstorm. I was almost out of it when I heard this woman's voice rambling on the wind, so I went back. And there she was, face down in the sand, staring up at me like I was an angel or something. I knew who she was from the second I saw her, so I threw her over my horse and brought her back to my camp."

"She freaked out when she woke up. She thought I was a Goddess," Alexandria laughed, smiling warmly at the memory. "She was lost though, and though I wasn't very enthusiastic about it to begin with, I let her travel with me through Egypt. We wandered around for quite a few moons, helping people and I tried to help her. She had so much pain, and I thought maybe I could help her through it, and maybe through some of my own. A few moons ago we were contacted by the Amazons, and so we came back to Greece. And now, here I am." Alexandria finished with a small shrug, taking another drink from the wineskin.

Xena frowned, rubbing her hands over her face as she tried to piece everything together in her mind, but there were still too many pieces of the puzzle missing.

"But, how are you here?" Xena asked, her brow furrowing as she stared at the woman she had murdered so many years ago. "And how have you not changed a single bit since I last saw you here?"

"My mother made me drink a lot of milk as a child, you know that," Alexandria laughed softly, before sighing. "No, I was brought back to life by the One True God, a few days after the Ides Of March. I never really found out why I was brought back. To fight evil? To spread the word of Eli? It was never explained to me. But I woke up in that cave, in the same place I took my last breath, and this voice echoed inside my head. It just told me, I'd been given a gift and that if I ever need anything, I could exchange it for what I wanted. I was given immortality, and I've been wandering ever since. Which explains why I still look like I'm twenty four summers old, instead of over fifty."

"You never came looking for me," Xena whispering not knowing if she should be hurt or happy about the fact.

"Why would I?" Alexandria shrugged, opening her eyes and gazing at the dark haired woman. "You killed me. You obviously didn't want me around, and I heard the stories about you every where I went. You changed: you started fighting for the Greater Good, with a cute little blonde bard as a sidekick. You didn't need me, and I wasn't exactly thrilled with the thought of ever seeing you, so I avoided you like a plague. It was especially hard after I met the Amazons, having to sneak out of the village when you showed up unexpectedly. But other than that, I never had a reason to cross your path. It was easier that way."

"I wish you had," Xena replied, her voice thick with emotion. "From the day I left this clearing, I never once stopped thinking about you, regretting what I'd done in a moment of jealousy. You were the best thing in my life, back then. The only good thing I had."

Alexandria shrugged awkwardly at the unexpected turn of the conversation. She averted her eyes from sad, pale blue orbs and picked up one of her swords and her whetstone. She started sharpening the blade, the sound soothing her as she concentrated on her weapon, hoping the conversation was over, at least for tonight.

Xena sensed the red headed woman's unease over their discussion, but she ignored it. Instead, she stood up and crossed the small camp, sitting down next to her ex lover and resting her hand over Alexandria's, effectively stopping her from sharpening her sword further.

"Alexandria," she said softly, gazing into the red headed woman's pained blue eyes. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I need you to know how much I regret what I did. If only I had listened to you for all those years and if only I had believed you when you said I was following the wrong path. I was so angry back then, so different from who I am now, and I know that it doesn't change anything. But the day you died, a part of me died too, and I've been half empty ever since. I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry for everything."

Alexandria didn't know what to say. Her throat was tight, and she could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. It would be so easy to just give in, to forgive this woman who had hurt her, but she couldn't. After all these years, the pain was still fresh, and very much yet to heal.

"I tried so hard," Alexandria whispered, gazing down at her hands which were clenched into fists in her lap. "I tried so hard for so many years to save you. I stuck by you through everything. I took up a sword to fight by your side, I killed for you, bled for you, and eventually, I died for you. And I wake up after all those years and find that you changed your ways for a girl you saved in a village.

Don't get me wrong," Alexandria smiled. "Gabrielle is the perfect woman. She is smart, brave, beautiful and everything anyone could ever want. I could see how you fell in love with her so easily. It just hurts that I tried so hard, that I gave up my life, and in the end, I never got any of that with you. Not the way Gabrielle did, anyway."

Xena smiled sadly as she looked at the red headed woman, memories from what seemed like a lifetime ago flashing through her mind.

"I know," Xena said softly. "And to think, you didn't even want me to begin with. It was so long ago, and yet right now it feels like only yesterday that we were growing up in Amphipolis together. You were so beautiful, and all the boy's wanted you, and all the girl's wanted to be your friend, and I was this outcast, playing with swords and wanting to be a warrior. I had such a crush on you too, just like everyone else. I watched you for years, at all the festivals, in your parents front yard picking flowers. I finally got the courage to ask you to the Solstice Festival dance and you said no."

Alexandria laughed, closing her eyes as she remembered the scrawny dark haired girl, standing at the front door of her childhood home, holding a bunch of flowers. She had been truly shocked when she opened the door to find Xena there, expecting one of the young boys from the village. She had hardly known the girl who spent most of her time with her brothers, playing soldiers in the fields with wooden swords. And as a child she had hated violence, so she declined the young girl's offer, and closed the door in her face.

"But you never gave up," Alexandria sighed, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "You started following me every where, beating up all the boys that came near me, talking to me every chance you got. You were so annoying! Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, and I just gave in."

"The first battle I ever won," Xena grinned, catching Alexandria's eyes and was given a small smile in return. "One of the hardest, too. You let me take you to the lake just outside of town and I taught you to fish."

"And I was in love with you before the sun set," Alexandria replied, sighing once more and looking up towards the stars. "And then Cortese came, and everything changed."

"Yeah," Xena nodded somberly, turning her gaze to the stars also.

Alexandria closed her eyes, shaking her head as though trying to dislodge the memories from her mind before standing up and moving to her bedroll.

"We should sleep," she said as she laid down, pulling her blanket over her body. "We've got to get back to the Amazon's as quickly as possible. Gabrielle will be worried enough as it is."

Xena nodded, staring at her old friend before walking to the opposite side of the fire and lying down. She gazed up at the stars, a mixture of excitement and dread in the pit of her stomach as she thought about the next few days. She would see Gabrielle again, and she was happy about that. But something told her it wouldn't be easy.

Alexandria thoughts were similar to the dark haired woman's. She wanted to return to the Amazons but she knew nothing would be the same as it was before she left. Everything was different now. What would happen with Gabrielle when she returned? She wasn't dellusional: she knew that their relationship wouldn't return to where it left off, but would the blonde be able to trust her again? After keeping a secret like this from her, Alexandria doubted it. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she tried to clear her thoughts.

_One day at a time, Alexandria, just one day at a time. _

"Goodnight Alex," she heard Xena's soft voice from across the camp.

"Goodnight Xena."


	11. Chapter 11

_Authors Note: Hey, sorry for another late update. I'm currently starting to write the sequel to another one of my stories, and it's been taking up quite a bit of my time. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and if you want to comment on it, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

_Enjoy!_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Ten**

_She could feel the rope cutting into her wrist as she pulled on her bindings experimentally. Her legs were also bound but her skin was protected by the tight black leather pants she wore. Glancing around the dark cavern, she looked for a way to escape and sighed when she discovered there was only one exit. Unfortunetly that exit was blocked by her lover, who stared down at her with cold eyes and emotionless features. _

_She knew she should be scared as she gazed back into the pale blue eyes that belong to the Destroyer of Nations, but she was defeated. How many people had stared into these eyes when they died? How many times had these shards of ice been the last thing they saw as they took their final breath? Hundreds? Thousands? She wasn't sure, but she knew she was about to join those unfortunate souls burning in Tartarus. _

_"Why are you doing this?" She said, suprised at the calmness of her own voice as it echoed off the cavern walls._

_"You know why." Xena swung her sword casually by her side as she walked around the bound woman who shuddered at the dark haired woman's tone of voice._

_"What did I do?" Alexandria asked in confusion. _

_"You know what you did! Don't play dumb with me, Alexandria. You might be able to fool everyone else, but you can't fool me," Xena growed, staring down at the red headed woman with narrowed eyes. _

_"Xena, I don't understand. I haven't done anything!" Alexandria cried, more desperate to know what she had done to upset her lover than to escape from what she knew was going to be her death._

_"Don't lie to me!" Xena screamed as she reached out, moving so fast her hand was a blur and wrapped her fingers tightly around Alexandria's neck, squeezing. "I saw you with that slave! I saw the way you looked at her, the way you touched her. You fucked her, didn't you. Didn't you?"_

_Alexandria's midnight blue eyes went wide with shock, her lungs screaming for air as she stared into the pale eyes filled with so much anger. Xena had many jealous rages in the past, over a friendly hug or even a touch, but it had never become this serious. _

_"No!" She gasped out, attempting to shake her head. "Xena, I didn't."_

_"Don't. Lie. To. Me," Xena growled between clenched teeth. "You know, Alexandria, everyone think that I'm this horrible, murderous bitch, and they're right. But they think you are an angel. You ride into the villages before we start an attack and warn them, then you sneak out of our tent at night to go and tend to their wounded. They think you're an angel, but they're wrong. I may burn and kill everything in my path but at least I don't hide who I am. I'm the Destroyer of Nations, and everyone knows it. But you hide behind this act, pretend that you're a hero but all you are is a coniving bitch. You lie and munipulate everyone and everything around you and no one see's you for what you truly are, but I do. You fucked the slave and you're a whore. A lying, betraying, evil little whore."_

_Alexandria felt her anger rise at the dark haired woman's words, her eyes flashing with rage as she pulled herself from Xena's grasp, breathing heavily._

_"How dare you," Alexandria spat. "How fucking dare you call me a whore. The woman that bed's a new man or woman in every village we enter. You think I don't know everytime you ask me to check the perimeter of our camp that you're in bed with another? You thought I didn't know about Borias? I knew long before you were with child! One time you say, in a moment of weakness, you two fucked. You're the fucking liar Xena. I have never been unfaithful to you, but you have never been faithful to me. You're the lying, betraying, evil bitch, not me."_

_"I hate you," Xena growled, her eyes narrowing to slits as she gripped her sword tighter. _

_"I've always hated you," Alexandria replied, her voice dripping with venom. "I wanted so much to change you. I wanted to make you happy, but all you ever brought me was pain."_

_"And I have planned your death every night for years!" Xena yelled, her right eye twitching as she raged. "You ruined me with your love! These thoughts of you constantly on my mind have driven me mad. I cannot concentrate with you around. You fight beside me, guard my back in battle, and yet you think about sticking a dagger in my back as I sleep. How can I live with a woman who only wants me dead?"_

_"If you think after I have stood besides you for all these years, that I just want you dead, then just kill me already!" Alexandria screamed. _

_She gasped in shock as the cold blade plunged into her chest, looking down at it in wonder. It was finally over: the pain, the heartbreak but also the love. The greatest love she'd ever known, and she hadn't even seen it coming. Alexandria looked up at Xena, who stared down at her in shock also, before her face turned into a mask of horror._

_"Alexandria," she whispered, falling to her knee's in front of the red headed woman._

_"You actually did it," Alexandria breathed, coughing as blood filled her mouth and dribbled down her chin. "After all this time, after everything."_

_"I didn't... I..." Xena stuttered, reaching out and putting her hand over the gaping wound in the red headed woman's chest. "I didn't mean to..."_

_"I love you," Alexandria said softly, before her world went black. _

Alexandria awoke abrubtly, managing keeping her eyes closed after many years of practise and listening to the sounds around her for any kind of danger. She tensed as she heard soft breathing from the other side of her camp fire and her fingers grasped the sword beside her bedroll. Her eyes snapped open and she rolled off her blankets and swung her sword towards the intruder, stopping inches away from the shocked bronze face of her new travelling companion and the woman of her nightmares.

"Oh," Alexandria mumbled, dropping her sword to her side and smiling sheepishly. "I forgot you were here."

"Good to know I'm easy to forget," Xena replied dryly, squinting up at the red headed woman.

Alexandria shrugged, dropping her sword on her bedroll before stretching her arms over her head and looking up at the dark sky.

"It'll be dawn soon," she muttered, wincing as her back popped in several places. "We should start moving. We don't want to keep the Queen waiting."

Xena nodded absently, gazing at the muscular body of her ex lover. For a moment she let the memories play in her mind. Her hands running over the lightly tanned skin, strong legs wrapped around her waist, long, slender fingers pulling her hair...

She shook her head as she attempted to rid herself of images from long ago, looking up into the midnight blue eyes that were gazing back at her in amusement.

"Speaking of the Queen," Xena said slowly, averting her eyes from her old friend's stare. "Did you tell her..."

"No," Alexandria replied, bitterness in her deep voice. "No, she doesn't know who I am. You never mentioned me to her, so I assumed you didn't want her to know that bit of your past."

Xena returned her pale blue orbs to Alexandria's, grimacing at the woman's tone. "It's not that I was ashamed of you, Alex. Nothing like that. I just... I couldn't tell her what I did to you."

Alexandria nodded, turning away from the dark haired woman and bent down to roll up her bedroll. She didn't want Xena to see how much it had hurt her to find out that her part in Xena's life wasn't important enough to be talked about. She started when she felt a large hand rest on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. She looked up into pale blue eyes and found something she didn't expect: Regret.

"I wanted to," Xena said softly, sighing as she shook her head. "But I couldn't stand to see the disgusted look in her eyes when I told her that I killed the one person that truly loved me for who I was, underneath the armour. I couldn't.."

Alexandria swallowed, uncomfortable with the amount of emotion that the once heartless woman she used to know was showing. She chewed on her bottom lip as she made a desicion before reaching up and covering Xena's hand with her own.

"She could never be disgusted with you, Xena. She loves you."

Xena gave her famous half smile, showing off her brilliantly white teeth before nodding, giving Alexandria's shoulder another warm squeeze.

"Yes, I know," Xena grinned. "Now, let's get going. Like you said, we don't want to keep the Queen waiting."


	12. Chapter 12

_Authors Note: New chapter guys! Finally. If you want to email me about it, my email is jacklavigne13 _

_Enjoy!_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Eleven**

We travelled in complete silence for two whole days, it is unbearable, but I don't know what to say to her. There is so much left unsaid between us and I have so many thoughts and things that I want to say, but I cannot find the words. Also, her hands on my hips as we ride towards the Amazon Nation is unbelievably distracting. I curse myself for not thinking to bring another horse and causing myself this torture. Having her so close is killing me. Half of my body wants to relax into her touch, hoping for more and the other half is tense, wanting to break her hands for daring to lay a finger on me.

I can tell that she is just as uncomfortable as I am. I feel it in every twitch of her long, slender fingers and in the way her arm muscles ripple as they tense. As we ride on, it only gets worse until her fingers are gripping my hips so tightly I'm scared the bones are going to shatter.

"Xena," I growl, my voice rough. "Do you mind?"

"Huh?" She mumbles before quickly removing her hands from my waist. "Oh. Sorry."

"No problem," I reply stiffly, straightening my shoulders as I take in our surroundings.

_Fuck, when did we cross over the Amazon borders? _

"We're close now," Xena whispered and I now understand why my hips are going to be bruised tomorrow.

"Yes," I mutter, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "Are you nervous?"

"No," Xena replied quietly, but I can hear the erratic beating of her heart proving the opposite.

I can hear the Amazons in the tree's above us, and I'm suprised they haven't dropped down to greet me. As soon as the thought entered my mind, a masked woman dropped from the sky, sliding down a thick vine until she landed besides my horse. I recognised her immediately.

"Hello Varia," I smiled down at her as she pulls the mask from her face, scowling at me.

"Alexandria," she nods to me before her eyes shift to the woman behind me. "Xena."

"Hi Varia, suprised to see me?"

I grin at the low rumble in Xena's voice, remembering that these two women didn't part on good terms before Xena died.

"Actually, no," Varia stated, walking proudly along side us. "I wish now I had stopped Alexandria from leaving the village, but I'm not suprised."

I smirked down at the Amazon, recieving a sad smile in return. My heart was beating faster with every step my horse took, bringing us closer to the village. Closer to Gabrielle. "How's the Queen been?"

"A mess," Varia replied curtly, looking away from me and towards the gate that was getting closer and closer. "She'll be worse once we walk into the village though. This is going to be difficult for her, you know that."

I felt Xena stiffen behind me and I sighed. I don't want to do this. I should just throw Xena off my horse and turn back the way I came, and I'm postive I would if there wasn't an army making it's way towards the village full of people I love. I look towards the gate and my heart stops beating in my chest, and I can feel Xena, if possible, become more tense behind me.

There she stood, short blonde hair whipping around her face, her emerald green eyes glued to mine. She was surrounded by Amazons, and I could hear them all whispering even though I was still quite a distance away. The seconds passed by quickly, quicker than I wanted them to and before I knew it, I was stopping my horse in front of the Amazon Queen.

_"Alexandria."_

I stand in the middle of the Practise field, watching my fellow Amazons spar with each other while I wait for her. That's all I've been doing over the past five days, waiting for her. Everytime someone knocks on the door of my hut, my heart starts to race, hoping it is her waiting to enter and pull me back into her arms, but it never is. I'm more worried than anything now, as I wonder if she has left for good, scared away by the emotions we are both feeling. At least, I hope we are both feeling them.

What I feel is so intense that I can't even begin to describe it. It's like fire coursing through my veins everytime I think of her. It hurts how much I want her, how much I know now that I need her. I never wanted to need anybody ever again after Xena died, but here I am, needing a woman I barely know. And I know she needs me, I could see it in her eyes everytime she looked at me, especially the night we made love, before she left. I could see it as she looked down at me, her midnight blue eyes dark with desire and so much need. Like she couldn't breathe without me. Like she couldn't live without me by her side.

But she's so scared of me too. Like if she gets too close to me, she'll break. It's as if she feels like the walls she's built up for so long will shatter if she's near me for too long, and I desperately wish they would. I want to see her, the real Alexandria. I want to know who she is, I want to understand her and know why she is the way she is. I want to hear about her life: her childhood, her past lovers, her battles, physical and emotional. I want to know everything there is to know. But she's scared, and to be honest, so am I.

She's been hurt before, I know this, by a woman that I don't know the name of. I wish I knew her name so I could curse her for causing someone so pure and so gentle, so much pain. She must be the cruelest of women and I can't begin to imagine why Alexandria loved her so much to begin with. I can't help but be jealous that this woman got a part of Alexandria that I might never see and it makes me want to scream. It's not fair.

I jolt back into reality as I'm tapped gently on the shoulder, turning my head to look up at Eponin. I'm immediately concerned by the look on her face. She looks like she's seen a ghost, her face was so pale, her eyes wide with shock.

"Ep, what is it? What's wrong?" I ask, turning to face her and putting my hands on her shoulders.

"The scouts along our borders just informed me that Alexandria has returned," Eponin managed to say, becoming more pale with every word.

I feel my heart start to beat faster, excited and worried at the same time. Alexandria was home, this was good news. But why did Eponin look so upset?

"Is she hurt?" I asked hurriedly, my eyes turning towards the wooden gates of the village, which were being opened as I spoke.

"No, she's fine," replied Eponin shakily.

"That's good, Ep!" I said, squeezing her shoulder before turning and starting to quickly make my way towards the entrance of the village, hearing her follow behind me. "She's home, it's good."

I walked through the gates, paying no attention to the Amazons that were crowding around me. All I could see was her, the one I'd been waiting for, for so long now.

Her short dark red hair was dishevled, falling into her midnight blue eyes, making her look impossibly sexy. I was frozen to the spot as I watched her, sitting proudly on her black stallion, like a dark knight in all her black and silver armor. The seconds passed by painstakingly slow, too slow for my liking, but I couldn't move. Despite how desperately I wanted to run into her arms, I couldn't. So I waited.

Moments later, though it felt like hours, she was sitting before me, staring down at me with so much emotion in her eyes. She looked so sad and I was confused. Wasn't she happy to see me?

"Alexandria?" I whispered under my breath as I looked up at her.

She gazed down at me sadly before throwing her leg over the side of her horse and sliding off her saddle and to the ground. I noticed there was someone else sitting on the horse as well, but I paid them no attention. I didn't have eyes for anyone else.

"Alexandria," I said, louder this time, praying to Aphrodite that she answered me.

She continued to gaze at me before slowly turning away and handing her reins to one of the Amazons. And then without a word or a backwards glance, she walked passed me, pushing through the crowd of women and into the village.

My heart shattered as I watched her walk away from me, turning all my fears into reality. I watched in a daze as Varia pushed past me and chased after the red headed woman and I cursed my legs for not moving first, but it was like someone was holding me back.

"Alexandria!" I yelled after her, starting to follow her but I was stopped by a voice.

"Gabrielle."

It was low, deep and full of emotion and I swear my heart stopped beating. This couldn't be real, I had to be dreaming. My breath caught in my chest as I turned around in slow motion to face the person that owned the voice that I had dreamed about for over a year. And there she was, dressed in her dark brown leathers, raven coloured hair flowing over her shoulders and the pale blue eyes that I loved so much, gazing into mine with unconditional love.

_"Xena."_


	13. Chapter 13

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Twelve**

_"Xena."_

I felt the air leave my lungs and my heart stop as our eyes met. Pale blue meeting emerald green, it was electric. I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry but I couldn't move, all I could do was look at her. How could this be possible? Was I dreaming or was I just dellusional? My mind raced through thousands of possibilities as she walked towards me in slow motion. I half expected her to fade at any moment like she did on the ship as we sailed away from Japa, but she didn't. She didn't shimmer like the mirage's of her I saw as I stumbled through Egypt, half out of my mind with thirst. She was solid, as solid as the ground beneath me and I couldn't believe it. She looked so beautiful and I longed to touch her, to prove that she was real but a voice in the back of my mind pulled me back. As she reached out a perfect tanned hand to touch me, I stumbled backwards, watching as her eyes flickered with emotion.

"Gabrielle," she said softly, in her most soothing voice. "It's me. This is real, I'm really here."

"But you died!" I gasped out. "You died and you left me. I don't understand. How?"

"It's complicated, love," She said, tilting her head as she looked at me, her pale blue eyes full of so much love. Love for me.

She lifted her hand once more and I stayed perfectly still as her fingertips trailed over my jawline. I could feel the soft skin of her fingers, sending bolts of lightning through my every nerve. She was real. She was alive and she was here, standing before me and my heart almost burst with joy. I threw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her neck tightly and sobbing as she held me in her embrace.

"You're real," I cried into her neck, breathing deeply and sighing at the familar smell of her.

"I'm real," Xena replied, holding the Amazon Queen to her chest tightly and burying her face in her soulmate's hair. "I'm here and I'll never leave you again, I promise."

My body became tense at her words, words I had heard from her so many times before. I pulled back and looked into Xena's eyes, searching them. "You said that before. You said that before and you still left me."

I pulled away from her, something that pained me so much to do, but I had to. I had to know everything and I needed to know now. I could see the hurt in her eyes as I looked up at her and I smiled slightly, trying to reassure her, but it did nothing to reassure me.

"You and I need to talk," I said softly, turning around and scanning the crowd. "I need to find Alexandria, and then we all need to talk."

I turned back to Xena, watching as her eyes flashed with fear before she smiled and nodded. She took the hand I held out to her, squeezing it gently, and I felt alive. By the Gods, Xena was alive.

As soon as I was out of sight, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, paying no attention to the Amazon's that gazed at me in confusion. I ran through the Amazon village and into the forest, pushing myself past the pain, past the tears that had welled up in my eyes and now streamed down my face. I couldn't control anything in my life but by the Gods, I could run. It was all too much, bringing Xena back to life, and then returning her, the woman who broke my heart and took my life to the woman who made me feel alive.

_"It will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do."_

It wasn't a lie, it was easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've fought battles, been outnumbered ten to one in several of them. I've taken lives, saved lives, done the impossible but none of it was anything compared to what it took for me to bring Xena back. It destroyed me to bring her back to this village and into the waiting arms of the Amazon Queen. It wasn't even that I wanted Gabrielle to myself.

_You want Xena to yourself._

"No!" I growled, pushing myself harder, running so fast that I was a blur racing along the forest floor.

No, I don't want her. It had to nothing to do with wanting anyone, Xena or Gabrielle. It was not being good enough, _never _being good enough for anyone. I was never enough for Xena and I'll never be enough for Gabrielle. And Gods, it hurt. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest, right through my broken heart.

I ran until my heart pounded in my ears and I was gasping for breath before falling to my knee's on the damp forest floor. I dug my fingernails into the dirt, the muscles in my arms trembling from exhaustion. I could hear someone running up behind me, but I didn't care. They could cut my head from my shoulders right now and I wouldn't defend myself. And then it hit me that now, that was a possibility.

"Alexandria," Varia gasped out as she fell to her hands and knee's besides me. "For the love of the Gods, I think I'm going to throw up my lungs."

I laughed through my tears, turning my head slightly and catching her eyes. She looked back at me, a sad smile on her beautiful face. She let herself fall gently to the ground, rolling onto her back and looking up at me thoughtfully. Sitting back on my heels, I held her gaze as I tried to calm my breathing.

"What did you give up?" She asked me softly, tilting her head to the side.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, running my fingers through my sweat soaked hair.

"Yes, you do. You can't just bring back people from the dead, Alexandria. Not without a price."

I stared down at her, searching her dark brown eyes and I smiled sadly, before reaching down into my boot and pulling out a small dagger. I twirled it in my fingers, never taking my eyes from my bestfriend's before gently dragging the blade along the palm of my hand.

I closed my eyes as my hand burned with pain. Pain, physical pain, something I hadn't truly felt in so long. When I was immortal, getting hit still hurt, but it was different. It was nothing like what I felt now, as my blood trickled through my fingers. This was real, and I laughed because for the first time since I'd been brought back to the living, I felt truly alive.

"God damn it, Alexandria," Varia mumbled and I opened my eyes to find her crying. "God damn it! You owe her nothing! Why would you do this?"

I looked down at my hand, squeezing it shut and watched as the blood ran down my arm before sighing and ripping off a piece of my shirt to tie around the wound.

"I didn't do it for Xena," I said softly as I wrapped my hand. "I did it because it's the right thing to do."

I looked up as Varia took my wounded hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it softly before looking up at me. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped as an Amazon ran into the clearing and moved towards us.

"The Queen wants to speak with you, Alexandria," Eponin panted out of breath. "Fuck, you run fast."

I smiled up at the older woman who gave me a small smile in return before letting myself be pulled to my feet by Varia. "Of course she does. What the Queen wants, the Queen gets, right?"

Eponin nodded at me as I felt Varia's hand slip into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. We followed Eponin from the clearing and I smiled as Varia continued to hold my hand as we walked side by side, back to the Amazon village.


	14. Chapter 14

_Authors Note: Hey, it's been a while since I've updated this story. I've started another story recently and I'm also working on a new one, a conqueror story ;) Though that won't be posted until after this one is finished. I'm glad you all have hung in there, cause this is where the story starts getting interesting! I'm heaps thankful for all the emails i've been getting, and I hope they continue. If you want to email me, my address is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

_Enjoy!_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Thirteen**

After sending Eponin to look for Alexandria, Gabrielle made her way to the Queen's hut, dragging Xena along by the hand, needing the physical contact. Thoughts were racing through her mind, making her head spin. How was Xena alive? What did Alexandria do to bring her back? Why hadn't Alexandria spoken to her about it? She glanced at her soulmate as she quietly closed the door behind them and realised she didn't really care. All that mattered was that Xena was alive.

"Do you know how much I've missed you?" Gabrielle whispered as she reached out, trailing her fingers over the smooth skin of her bestfriend's arm. "Do you know how much I've needed you?"

Xena looked down at the blonde, her eyes full of guilt and pain. "I know. I'm so sorry, Gabrielle."

"You left me," Gabrielle said, dropping her hand back down to her side and looking up at the warrior. "After you promised me you wouldn't."

"Gabrielle, the so-,"

"Don't give me that shit about the forty thousand souls, Xena!" Gabrielle growled, her anger overwhelming her happiness to have her soulmate back. "It was supposed to be you and me, always. And then you just throw it all away."

"I didn't throw it away, love. It was for the greater good! That's what you taught me, that the greater good comes first."

"Not before us!" Gabrielle said as tears welled up in her eyes. She brushed them away impatiently as she continued her rant. "You always said that I came first, Xena. That our relationship came before anything else. Did you even consider what would happened to me when you died?"

"Of course I did, Gabrielle," Xena said softly, reaching out to caress her lover's cheek. "It broke my heart to leave you. If there had been any other way, I never would have left you."

"You destroyed me, Xena," Gabrielle sobbed, leaning into her friend's touch. "I love you so much and you broke my heart."

"I'm so sorry," Xena whispered, pulling the bard into her arms in a crushing hug. She continued to apologise and whisper words of love into her soulmate's ear, stroking her back lovingly. "I love you, Gabrielle. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Gabrielle clung to her lover, her short fingernails digging into the leather battle dress desperately. It felt so good to be back in Xena's embrace, her strong arms surrounding her. Her tense and aching muscles relaxed under her companion's touch as her anger and sadness slipped from her body. She still wasn't sure if this was some cruel dream but if it was, she hoped she never woke up.

She pulled back slightly so that she could look into Xena's eyes before slowly leaning up and brushing their lips together. A bolt of electricity surged through her body at the touch, leaving her skin tingling deliciously. She moaned softly, having almost forgotten how soft her lover's lips were as Xena tangled her fingers in the bard's short hair, deepening the kiss. Gabrielle gripped her lover's shoulders as the kiss became more urgent, their tounges dancing together passionately. Every nerve in her body was set ablaze as Xena ran her hands over her heated skin while the bard gripped her companion's hair, desperate for more of her soulmate.

She needed everything from her lover, to prove that she was real. She needed the warrior to be inside of her, to surround her completely in her protective embrace. She groaned miserably as Xena pulled away from her.

"We need to stop," the warrior said breathlessly, her eyes full of desire as she looked down at the bard.

"Why? I need you," Gabrielle said as she attached her lips to Xena's neck. Gods, the taste of her was delicious.

"Alexandria will be here any minute now."

_Alexandria._

Gabrielle tensed, her body completely frozen before she hurriedly pulled away from the dark haired woman. Xena stared at the bard in confusion as she ran her fingers through her short blonde locks, turning away from her friend. By the Gods, what was she going to do? For a moment she'd completely forgotten about the red headed warrior.

_The red headed warrior that saved you. The woman who never left you. The one you gave your broken heart to._

"Fuck," Gabrielle cursed.

"I really don't want to do this," Alexandria muttered as she paced outside the Queen's hut, Varia and Eponin watching her in amusement. "I don't want to go in there. I don't want to have to explain everything to Gabrielle. I don't want to."

"Stop acting like a child," Varia chuckled as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What happened between you and Xena is in the past, I'm sure Gabrielle will understand."

"Oh yeah?" Alexandria said as she turned around to face her friends. "And what about Xena? What's she going to say when she finds out that I slept with Gabrielle before I brought her back? What's Gabrielle going to say when she finds out that I was planning to revive Xena and I bedded her anyway!"

"You slept with the Queen?" Eponin gasped in disbelief.

"Oh, like none of us saw that coming, Ep," Varia rolled her eyes.

"Y- You, you slept with Gabrielle? Oh man, Xena is going to kill you!" Eponin abrubtly stopped laughing at the menacing glare from Alexandria.

"Fuck," Alexandria whispered, running her fingers through her short hair. Why was everything so Gods be damned complicated?

"Fuck!" The three women turned towards the hut in suprise as Alexandria's curse was echoed from inside.

"That woman has the mouth of a sailor sometimes," Varia muttered under her breath.

"The hands of one too," Eponin said with a small smile. "Kinda makes you wonder what they're doing in there, for her to curse like that."

"Probably giving Xena a nice welcome home," Alexandria said bitterly.

Varia and Eponin glanced at each other before looking at the red headed warrior sympathetically.

Alexandria squared her shoulders, taking several deep breaths before reaching forwards to push open the hut door. "Here goes nothing."

She glanced back at her friends one more time, taking strength from their reassuring smiles before stepping into the Queen's hut and closing the door quietly behind her.

"Threeway," Eponin whispered with a mischievious grin as the door closed, earning her a slap on the back of her head.

"Come on, old woman," Varia laughed as she pulled her friend away and towards the dining hut. "Let's give them some privacy. The God's know it's going to be awkward enough without us listening to every word."


	15. Chapter 15

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Fourteen**

In the second it took her to walk through the door and into the hut, a thousand thoughts ran through Alexandria's mind. She truly didn't want to have this conversation with Gabrielle, especially with Xena in the room. She could feel all her pent up emotions bubbling just under the surface of the carefully constructed barriers around her heart. She was hurting, more than she cared to admit. Having spent the past few days with Xena, even in silence, had caused an unbelievable amount of emotions to rise up in her. All the pain and anger she thought she'd left in the past had returned tenfold. She thought she had finally moved on and let go of her past, but she had been wrong.

And her thoughts of Gabrielle weren't much easier on her already bruised heart. They needed to talk so that she could make her understand the choice's she had made. But it would be impossible with Xena listening to every word. She had a hard enough time bearing her heart to the small blonde, but it was too much for her to have the dark haired woman there to listen as well.

_You should have just left Xena at the gate, _She thought to herself bitterly. _Then you wouldn't have to have this conversation._

Two sets of eyes bore into her the second she entered the Queen's hut. Pale blue and emerald green gazed into midnight blue, searching for answers. She glanced between Gabrielle and Xena, trying to understand why the air seemed so thick with tension.

"You wanted to talk to me, my Queen?" Alexandria said, raising a dark red eyebrow at the small blonde.

"Yes, Alexandria, take a seat," Gabrielle gestured to the desk chair as she slumped heavily on the bed.

Alexandria nodded, sitting at the desk, one leg thrown over the arm rest. She looked the picture of indifference even as her insides twisted painfully and her head swirled with emotion. She averted her eyes from Xena, feeling the dark haired woman's gaze burning into her skin. What had they been talking about before she entered for Xena to be looking at her like that?

_Gabrielle wouldn't have told her about us... Would she?_

She glanced up into cold eyes, a shiver racing up her spine as she held eye contact with the dark warrior.

_By the Gods, I'm screwed._

"How?" Gabrielle finally asked Alexandria after a few moments of silence, a small frown on her face. "How did you bring Xena back?"

"I made a trade," Alexandria replied, staring forwards blankly.

"A trade? With who?" Gabrielle questioned.

"The One True God."

"What did you trade for me?" Xena asked from where she stood besides Gabrielle, her arms crossed over her chest. "What did you lose to bring me back, Alexandria?"

"Nothing of worth," Alexandria said softly, closing her eyes in fear that they would give away the truth.

The room was silent for a few moments, each woman lost in their own thoughts before Gabrielle spoke. "I don't understand."

"What is there to understand?" Alexandria felt the anger she'd been pushing down blaze in her chest. "You have Xena back. She's alive. Your lover and soulmate is alive. Can't you just forget about all the little fucking details and be happy?"

Gabrielle stared in shock at the sudden angry outburst from the red headed woman. She felt her own anger well up as her hands clenched the blankets underneath her.

"No, I can't just forget, Alexandria," Gabrielle said, her emerald eyes blazing. "Unlike you, I can't just forget everything. Why didn't you tell me that you were leaving to bring her back? Why didn't you take me with you? Why did you even bring her back at all? Not to sound ungrateful, because I am. I am so grateful, Alexandria, but why? You hate her. You call her the Destroyer of Nations, and yet you bring her back from the dead. Why?"

"Because you love her!" Alexandria shouted as she rose from her seat, throwing her hands up in the air. "Because she's your soulmate and there will never be anyone else for you. At least not anyone else as good as her."

"How stupid of me," Gabrielle laughed mirthlessly. "To have thought that maybe you could have been someone else I could love."

Gabrielle gasped as the words escaped from her mouth, her eyes wide at her confession. Alexandria stared at the small blonde before glancing to Xena, who had been silent throughout the arguement.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" Xena said, her voice low and menacing. Danger seemed to start seeping from the woman's pore's as hey eyes sparkled with fury.

"Xena," Gabrielle started as she stood up to face her soulmate, but the dark haired warrior cut her off.

"No, what did you just say, Gabrielle? Did you just say that you loved her? Are you in love with Alexandria?" Xena's voice was quiet, though her anger and hurt was easily heard.

"No, I... I don't..." Gabrielle stumbled over her words as she reached out towards her lover, but Xena stepped back, laughing mirthlessly.

"You're lovers, aren't you?" She said, gritting her teeth as her pale eyes turned towards the red headed woman. "Aren't you, Alexandria?"

"No, we're not," Alexandria replied coldly. "We were, but not anymore."

"You son of a Bacche," Xena growled menacingly as she stalked towards Alexandria. "How dare you-"

"How dare I?" Alexandria spat, her eyes cold. "You have no right to be pissed off at me, Xena. Before you get angry at anyone, why don't you tell Gabrielle how we know one another?"

The room went deadly silent as the blood drained from Xena's face. The coldness and anger in the icy eyes diminished as Xena gazed sadly at Alexandria.

"No," Gabrielle said, shaking her head. "No, Alexandria, you said...You said you don't know each other. I don't... Xena?"

Xena closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before turning away from Alexandria to look at the bard. As their eyes locked, Gabrielle saw the regret and sadness in the ocean blue eyes and she knew instantly how they knew each other.

"No," Gabrielle whispered as tears welled up in her eyes. "No, Xena... Please, tell me it wasn't you. Tell me you weren't her lover. Please."

"Gabrielle," Xena said softly, her heart aching as she reached out towards the small blonde, who recoiled from her touch. "Gabrielle, please. You have to understand, I was different back then."

"I can't," Gabrielle gasped, covering her mouth with shaking hands as tears spilled down her cheeks. "Oh Gods, I can't believe this."

And without another word, she turned and ran from the hut, leaving the two women alone.


	16. Chapter 16

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_That didn't go exactly to plan, _Alexandria thought to herself with a sigh as the door closed behind Gabrielle. She sat down heavily on the edge of the desk, running her fingers through her short hair as she gazed over to where Xena was standing. The dark haired woman looked like she'd been sentenced to an eternity in Tartarus as her eyes welled up with tears. Despite her dislike for the woman, she felt her heart ache for her.

"It'll work out, Xena," Alexandria said softly, causing Xena to glance over at her with pain filled eyes. "She loves you. She'll come around, you'll see."

"And what if she doesn't?" Xena replied, her voice trembling. "What if she decides I'm a heartless monster and wants nothing to do with me?"

"She won't," Alexandria reassured her. "You've changed, she knows that. You're not that cruel warlord anymore."

"Aren't I?" Xena spat bitterly. "Because I broke her heart and left her here alone. That makes me pretty cruel and heartless."

"You did it for the Greater Good, Xena," the red headed warrior sighed, standing up and walking towards her ex lover. "Look, I'll go talk to her, okay? She might kill me but she might listen too."

Alexandria reached out and gently squeezed Xena's shoulder, giving her a small smile which was returned gratefully. With another small squeeze and a loud sigh, Alexandria departed from the hut and started her search for the Amazon Queen.

Her arms and legs stung with scratches as she pushed her way through the thick forest towards her destination. Her head was a mess, filled with horrible images and thoughts of the two women she'd left behind in her hut. She'd been lied to by two of the people she trusted the most and her heart hurt. Underneath all her pain, she could feel her rage and anger bubbling up, threatening to overwhelm her and she let it. Anything was better than feeling the heart wrenching sadness she felt.

With a growl, she pushed her way through the last bush and stumbled into the clearing, closing her eyes as the relaxing sound of cascading water filled her ears, soothing her. She walked towards the edge of the pool, falling to her knee's and splashing the cool water on her face, gasping as chilled her burning hot anger.

How had Alexandria kept something like this from her? After all this time they'd spent together, she'd never once mentioned that she knew Xena, let alone tell her they had been lovers. She's trusted the red headed woman with her whole heart and she'd been betrayed.

_Well, actually, she never did lie to you, _A voice in the back of her head whispered.

_But she never told me the truth either, _She thought back angrily.

And Xena was alive but Gabrielle couldn't even stand to look at her soulmate's beautiful face. She couldn't look into those ocean blue eyes without thinking of all the horrible things she did as a warlord. How could she hold her in her arms when the arms that would embrace her in return had held the sword that ended Alexandria's life? The life of someone so kind, so full of love and light and so much like the bard that she claimed to be her soulmate. Could Xena turn on her as easily as she did with Alexandria?

She turned around as she heard soft steps behind her, glancing up at the red headed warrior with a scowl as she entered the clearing. "What do you want?"

"To see how you are," Alexandria replied, sitting down besides the small blonde. "So, how are you?"

"How do you think I am?" Gabrielle spat, narrowing her eyes at the woman. "You lied to me."

"I never lied to you," Alexandria replied with a frown. "Neither did Xena, for that matter. We both just chose to not share certain details of our past."

"Same thing," Gabrielle muttered, angrily pulling large clumps of grass from the dirt in front of her. "You should have told me."

"Yes, I suppose I should have," Alexandria sighed as she gazed up at the waterfall thoughtfully. "But I wasn't ready, and neither was Xena. I mean, with the way you reacted, can you really blame us?"

Gabrielle frowned, feeling her anger start to disappear at the woman's words. She had acted like a child, running away, but she was hurting. And to make it worse, she couldn't understand why Alexandria was sticking up for the woman that killed her.

"Why do you care?" Gabrielle asked, turning to look at the red headed woman. "Why do you care if I go back there and forgive her or not? She hurt you. She killed you!"

"It was a long time ago, and like you have been telling me for the past year, she's changed," Alexandria shrugged. "She's not the person that I loved or the person that broke my heart. And she's definetly not the person that killed me. That's how I could get away with not telling you that I knew her, because I don't, not really anyway. The woman you love is Xena, the Warrior Princess. The woman I love, loved, is Xena, the Destroyer of Nations. They're different people, Gabrielle."

"Why is everything so complicated?" Gabrielle sighed, looking down at Alexandria with a sad smile.

Alexandria threw her head back and laughed, leaning back on her elbows as she looked up at the blonde. "I have been asking myself the same thing for the past year, love."

Gabrielle smiled before lying down on her side next to warrior. She looked into Alexandria's midnight blue eyes before sighing and moving closer, resting her head on the red headed woman's chest. "What happens now?"

"We go back to how things were a few weeks ago, before anything happened between us," Alexandria said softly, lying back completely and wrapping her arms around the smaller woman. "You go back to the village, tell Xena you love her and live happily ever after. You and I will be friends and I'll stay until after the battle is over, then I'll go on my merry way."

"What if I can't do that?" Gabrielle questioned quietly, running her fingers lightly over her companion's stomach. "What if I can't pretend like I don't feel anything for you? I mean, I love Xena. She's my soulmate. But, I love you too."

Alexandria closed her eyes, storing the softly spoken words away in her memories as she gently stroked Gabrielle's hair. "You can do it. You and I will always be friends, Gabrielle. If you ever need me or just want to talk, just send me a message and I'll come find you, wherever you are. I will always love you, but I want you to be happy and you're happy with Xena."

"I have to go back to the village and forgive her now, don't I?" Gabrielle whispered, not wanting the moment to end.

Alexandria smiled, squeezing the woman in her arms gently before relaxing on the ground. "It can wait a few more minutes."

Gabrielle smiled also, closing her eyes and snuggling closer to the woman that helped her through the hardest time in her life. For the first time in the past year, she found herself completely content with her life, in the arms of her bestfriend, with her soulmate waiting for her at home.


	17. Chapter 17

_Authors Note: Hey guys! I have been seriously lacking in my updating for this story. I've been working eight days in a row, so it's been hard! I'm also writing three other stories as well, so yeah. Anyways, this chapter is to make up for all I've put you guys through so far with this story, and for all the things still to come. The lyrics are A Thousand Years - Christina Perri, they obviously do not belong to me, I am just borrowing them for this story. I hope you continue you reading, and continue commenting, cause I love the emails I get from you guys! If you want to email me, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Heart beats fast, colours and promises_

_How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall?_

Gabrielle watched as Alexandria walked away from her, her tall muscular body quickly disappearing as she slipped through the crowds of Amazon's readying the village for the battle to come. They'd spent the last candlemark in the clearing holding each other close, both of the women knowing it would be the last time. Closing her eyes, Gabrielle stored the memory of the last hour in her mind, knowing she would cherish it forever along with all her other memories of the red headed woman. She knew that today had been Alexandria's subtle way of saying goodbye to her, and her heart ached with the knowledge. Even though Xena was alive again, she had felt a strong connection to the red headed warrior and she was going to miss her companionship. She wondered if the warrior would stay for a while in the Amazon village after the battle, but she highly doubted it now that she knew of Alexandria's past with Xena.

The bard turned her head away from the direction Alexandria had disappeared and slowly started making her way towards her hut, deep in thought. A part of her was thrilled to be returning to her soulmate, eager to be back in the dark haired woman's strong embrace. But another part of her was scared, scared of the same thing that excited her. She knew that she loved Xena, more than life itself, but a part of her didn't want to. How could she love someone that was so quick to give up their life and abandon her? She knew she was being selfish, but she was so afraid that Xena would leave her again, now that she'd finally gotten her back.

And they had so many thing's to discuss. In the clearing, Alexandria had given her a basic outline of what her and Xena's relationship had been like, but Gabrielle still wanted some answers from Xena. She wanted to know what had pushed her so far as to kill her own lover so cruelly. Could Xena ever betray her like that? She wasn't so much different from Alexandria when she thought about it, they actually had quite a lot in common. Could Xena ever hurt her like she had hurt Alexandria?

_No, _Gabrielle thought to herself, though even the voice in her mind wavered with doubt. _She's changed, she would never do that to me. _

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer_

She was pulled from her thoughts as she found herself outside of her hut. Her heart raced, knowing Xena was inside waiting for her and after taking several deep breaths, she opened the door and stepped inside.

Her breath caught painfully in her throat as she saw her soulmate, standing by her desk, deep in thought. Pale blue eyes looked up as she entered, gazing into sparkling green and Gabrielle felt all of her fears and doubts slip from her mind as she looked at the woman she loved with her whole heart. By the Gods, she was beautiful. Her bronzed skin and dark hair contrasting with those magnificent blue eyes. In moments, she had crossed the room and was wrapped up in the warrior's embrace, pressing her face into the warm skin of her love's neck. She wondered how she had ever gone a whole year without these protective arms surrounding her. She felt like she'd finally come home.

"I'm sorry, Gabrielle. So sorry," Xena mumbled into her lover's hair, breathing in her scent as she pulled the blonde closer.

"Shh," Gabrielle whispered, pulling back slightly and covering the dark haired woman's mouth with her fingers. She smiled as she traced the full lips with her fingertips, in awe at their softness. "It's okay, love. We're okay. I love you."

"I love you too, Gabrielle."

_Time stands still, beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave, I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath, every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_

Gabrielle gasped as her fingers were sucked gently into her lover's warm mouth. She whimpered softly as she felt her fingertips being caressed by Xena's tongue, causing her heart to thump wildly in her chest. Her digits sparked with electricity that travelled down her arm and throughout her body. As she pulled her fingers free from the hot mouth, she gazed up into her partner's eyes that had darkened with unrestrained passion. She unconciously squeezed her thighs together, feeling hot liquid pool between her legs as her body trembled with desire.

This hadn't been what she had expected when she returned to her hut. She had thought that she would talk to her partner, discuss the past year as she laid in her lover's arms. She had wanted to take things slowly, knowing that both of them were upset and confused from today's revelations. But as she looked into Xena's eyes, finding so much passion and love there for her, she pushed the idea of taking things slow from her mind. She had waited too long for this already. She needed her.

_I have died everyday, waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I will love you for a thousand more_

Gabrielle tangled her finger's in her lover's dark hair, gripping the silky strands tightly as she pulled Xena's head down to crush their lips together. The kiss was passionate and urgent as the bard thrust her tongue into Xena's mouth, tasting her. She moaned into the kiss, pushing her body tightly against Xena's, her skin burning wherever it touched her lover's. Her hands roamed impatiently over soft skin and hard muscle, refamiliarising herself with her soulmate's body.

She felt Xena's hands run down her back to cup her ass before lifting her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around her partner's waist as she was carried to the bed, never breaking their heated kiss. She unconciously grinded herself into her lover's abdomen, spreading her wetness over Xena's leathers and groaned at the delicious friction. She had almost forgotten how it felt to make love to her soulmate. Only Xena could arouse her this much, only she could ignite this fire in her body and make her come alive.

With her many skills, Xena removed both of their clothes and laid Gabrielle down on the bed. She bit her lip as she looked down at the blonde, wondering how she could be so lucky to have another chance at life with this beautiful woman. With a slowness that almost drove Gabrielle insane, Xena laid her warm body ontop of the bard's. They both moaned as skin touched skin, sliding together deliciously before Gabrielle continued to conquer Xena's lips with her own. She was impatient, her need to feel her soulmate inside of her, completing her, was almost too strong to bear. She wrapped her legs around Xena's hips, pulling her partner's centre down to grind against her own and she whimpered in pleasure. It was like her body was catching alight, starting from the tips of her toes and rising up as Xena grinded sensually against her.

"Please, Xena," Gabrielle gasped, her eyes burning with passion and lust as she gazed up at her lover. "Please, I need you..."

"I know what you need, love," Xena replied with a seductive smile. She trailed hungry kisses down the bard's neck, nipping and sucking the soft skin as her free hand came up to knead Gabrielle's breast, running her thumb teasingly over the nipple until it hardened. Gabrielle arched her back, wanting more as Xena replaced her hand with her lips and enveloped the bard's nipple in her hot mouth, flicking her tongue over the rock hard flesh as she dragged her hand over Gabrielle's taut abdomen. She caressed the smooth skin above her lover's centre before running her finger's through the soft blonde hair between the bard's thighs. Her fingertips lingered over the throbbing nub that screamed for attention, stroking it with her thumb and causing Gabrielle to cry out before pushing her finger's into her lover's heat, giving the bard what she desired the most.

_And all along, I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

"By the Gods, Xena," Gabrielle breathed, turning her head to capture her lover's lips in a passionate kiss. She grinded her hips against her lover's hand, impaling herself harder on the finger's inside of her with every thrust. She felt so full with Xena inside of her, completing her as she plunged in and out of her body. The friction was delicious and she could feel herself moving closer to the edge. She lifted her thigh, pushing it into her partner's centre as she gripped Xena's ass, smearing her warm wetness over her skin.

Xena groaned into her mouth before crushing their lips together desperatly as she thrust herself against her lover's silky skin. Her hips rocked in a frantic rhythm, in sync with her fingers inside of her lover, thrusting harder as she felt Gabrielle tighten around her digits. They were both so close, lost in the sensation of each other's bodies. Underneath her, she felt Gabrielle's body start to spasm before she tensed with an earth shattering climax.

Gabrielle cried out as every nerve in her body exploded, brilliant lights flashing before her eyes as heat flooded through her body. She dug her fingernails into her lover's back as her own back arched off the bed. She screamed Xena's name until her voice became hoarse and her body trembled. The sight of her soulmate climaxing pushed Xena over the edge as well, her body going rigid as her mouth opened in a silent scream. Her body shuddered as she continued to pump herself against her lover's thigh, dragging out her orgasm for as long as she could before she collapsed heavily on top of her companion, her hand still wedged between their sweat soaked bodies.

"I have never stopped loving you," Gabrielle breathed, her heart racing as she buried her face in Xena's hair, breathing in her intoxicating scent. "Not for one second."

Xena grinned crookedly, pressing her lips lightly to the bard's shoulder before resting her head there and closing her eyes. "And I, you, Gabrielle. I love you so much."

_I have died everyday, waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more..._


	18. Chapter 18

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Gabrielle awoke the next morning, her face warmed by the sunlight streaming through her window. She blinked sleepily as the images of her dream replayed over in her mind. She had dreamed that Xena had been brought back to life and they had been reunited. She smiled, still feeling her lover's arms around her even as the last images of her dream faded from her mind. The hand resting on her stomach gently caressed her soft skin and with a start, Gabrielle realised that last night had not been a dream and it was Xena's arm wrapped around her waist. She rolled over to face her lover, feeling as though she could cry from the happiness she felt.

Leaning up on her elbow, she looked down at her soulmate, trailing her fingertips over the dark haired woman's jaw. By the Gods, she was alive. It was still hard for the bard to accept the fact that Xena had been brought back to her. The past year had been the hardest of Gabrielle's life, and now it was finally over. Xena had returned to her.

She grinned as the corner of Xena's mouth curled into a smile, before the warrior opened her eyes to look up at her lover. Gabrielle returned her smile with one of her own, before leaning down and brushing her lips against her companion's. She rested her forehead against Xena's, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the moment she had wished for, for so long.

"I love you," Gabrielle whispered, her voice choked with emotion as she pulled back to look down at her lover.

"I love you too," Xena replied, gazing at the bard with a warm smile. Her finger's gently caressed her soulmate's cheek, needing to touch her lover to reassure her that she was really there. She smiled as Gabrielle leaned into her hand, closing her eyes.

"It's late," Gabrielle sighed softly, turning her head to look out the window as the sun continued to rise higher into the sky. "We have to go and meet Alexandria and Varia to discuss the final battle plans."

"I think Alex and Varia can wait a little longer," Xena whispered as she leaned up on her elbow to trail kisses along Gabrielle's shoulder.

Gabrielle moaned, biting her lip and dropping her head back to give her lover better access as she tangled her fingers in Xena's dark hair.

"Yes, they can wait a little longer," Gabrielle breathed as she pulled Xena's mouth up to meet hers and kissing her passionately.

Several candlemarks later, Gabrielle and Xena finally entered the Council hut at noon where Varia and Alexandria were awaiting their arrival. Gabrielle smiled at the two women, blushing profusely at the two raised eyebrows she got from the warriors at her slightly dishievled appearance. She ran her fingers through her messy hair as she walked to the table with her lover to go over the battle plans.

Xena nodded at the two women, trying not to be bothered by Alexandria's complete disinterest in her existance. It had hurt more than she cared to admit that she had received the silent treatment since she had been brought back to life by her once closest friend and lover. She had hoped that they would be able to work things out, and maybe Alexandria would be able to forgive her. Though, she expected nothing less than anger and hatred directed at her from the red headed warrior, Alexandria's indifference was much worse. With a sigh, she looked down at the parchment on the table, containing maps and the plan for the upcoming war between the Amazon's and King Delvin's army.

Gabrielle and Xena were both impressed by the plan laid out before them. It was a simple plan, but the way it was set out almost completely ensured their victory against Delvin's army. As Xena looked more closely though, she read something that made her stomach tie itself into knots unexpectedly.

"It's a good plan, Alexandria," Gabrielle smiled at the red headed warrior, recieving a small grin in return from Alexandria.

"I don't like it," Xena said simply, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked up at the red headed woman.

Gabrielle looked over at Xena in shock, glancing between her and Alexandria, who's eyes were flashing with anger. "Xena, this is flawless. I don't understand, what's wrong with it?"

"She doesn't want me on the front line," Alexandria growled between clenched teeth as she glared at the dark haired woman. "You forget, Warrior, I'm immortal. I'm the best person to lead the Amazon's from the front."

"If you're immortal, why don't you just walk into the battle alone and take them on yourself?" Xena asked, raising an eyebrow at her ex lover.

Alexandria sneered at the dark haired warrior, stepping forward menacingly only to be stopped by Varia's hand on her chest. She bared her teeth at the Amazon before turning back to Xena, growling her reply. "I already offered to go alone, but Gabrielle refused. The Amazon's won't allow me to fight their battle's for them, but the least I can do is stand on the front line and try to help them the best I can."

The two women glared at each other for several moments as Alexandria clenched her injured hand behind her back. She was wearing a pair of fingerless leather gloves to hide her wound from her companions. She didn't want them to know that she was going to be practically walking into her death when the battle started. She jumped when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, turning her head sharply to look at Varia, who gazed back at her sadly. She could see what her friend was trying to say, the words shining brightly in her dark brown eyes. _You are not alone. _She smiled at the Amazon before turning back to Xena, her face an emotionless mask.

"I will be at the front with the best warrior's the Amazon's have to offer. Queen Gabrielle will be with the cavalry while you come down from the hills behind the battle with the rest of the Amazon's and take their army from the back. You are our element of suprise as no one knows that you're alive, no one will be expecting you. It's actually a very simple plan. We are outnumbered two to one. This is the only way we stand a chance. Deal with it."

With a nod towards Gabrielle, Alexandria turned on her heel and stalked from the Council hut, wanting to be away from Xena's intense gaze. She made it to the safety of her own hut before she heard the warrior following her and with a snarl, she turned to face the dark haired woman. "What is your problem, Xena? We've used this plan hundreds of times in the past with me on the front line and you never cared before. Why is it a problem now?"

"This is different," Xena replied angrily as she slammed the hut door closed behind her.

"How is this different? If anything, this should be easier. We have nothing tying us together anymore, and better yet, I can't get hurt. You have nothing to worry about," Alexandria said in frustration, clenching and unclenching her hands at her sides. She felt her anger rising higher and higher, along with her excitement at being so close to the woman she loved.

"Stop lying to me," Xena whispered, closing her eyes. "We both know you can get hurt, Alex."

"What are talk-"

"I saw your wound!" Xena shouted, stepping closing to the red headed woman and grabbing her injured hand. "I saw it yesterday when you came to Gabrielle's hut to speak to her. You tried to hide it but it didn't work. You gave up your immortality to bring me back, didn't you?"

Alexandria stood in the middle of her hut, her eyes wide with shock as she was caught red handed, litterally. She regained her senses quickly, pulling her hand from Xena's grasp to run her fingers through her hair.

"It doesn't matter," Alexandria whispered as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. "Not anymore. You have Gabrielle to worry about now, you need to stop worrying about me. You love her. You don't love me anymore."

"I never stopped stopped loving you!" Xena shouted once more, shocking them both with her confession. She stared sadly at the red headed woman before sighing softly. "I never stopped loving you, Alexandria. I always have and I always will, nothing will change that. Yes, I have Gabrielle now, and I do love her. I love her more than my own life, but I don't want to lose you. I don't want to go into battle in two days time, knowing that I will have to live without you again when it's over."

"Xena," Alexandria said softly, reaching up and gently caressing a bronze cheek. "Whether we win or lose, you're going to have to live without me when this is over."

"Alexandria, no," Xena whispered, her heart aching. She wanted so desperately to make Alexandria understand how sorry she was. She wanted her to know how much she regretted hurting her. She wanted her to know that a part of her had been lost forever when Alexandria had died. She couldn't say any of these things though, knowing that no matter how sorry she was, nothing would ever be the same between them. No matter how much she still loved Alexandria, they were not destined for one another. As much as it hurt, she had to let Alexandria go.

"I can't..." Xena breathed, closing her eyes as she leaned into Alexandria's touch. It was like she'd returned to her past as she felt the red headed woman's fingers on her skin. All the emotions she had once felt for this woman seeped from the tightly closed box she had locked in her heart.

"I know," Alexandria said softly, biting her lip as she gently ran her thumb over Xena's full lips. She resisted the urge for a moment before giving in and brushing her lips against her ex lover's. She closed her eyes, kissing her more firmly before pulling away as Xena started to respond. With one more final look into Xena's sad blue eyes, she turned away. She shook her head as she walked away from the dark haired woman and out of the hut, holding her hand over her heart as she felt like she was dying all over again.


	19. Chapter 19

_Authors Note: Hey, late update once again. The chapters to this story are getting longer and longer as it comes to an end, which will be quite soon. I know you guys want to see more of Xena and Gabrielle and I promise you will. I've been trying to put a bit more of Alexandria and Xena into this for a reason. I need their background and the relationship to be set out in this story because after this one, there will be a sequel. Completely different to this story. A lot darker, with less twists but no less drama. If anything, there will be more drama. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and continue to email me about this story. If you want to, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Eighteen**

It was two days before the battle was supposed to start and the Amazon's we're partying like it would be their last days on Earth. It could be true, Alexandria thought to herself as she surveyed the women around her. Tomorrow, they would make their journey to the edge of the Amazon Nation, where they would wait for King Delvin's army. They were outnumbered, at least two to one, though Alexandria's wasn't worried about that. They had the element of suprise, considering Delvin didn't realise they would be prepared for the attack, knowing of it for months in advance. Plus, the Amazon's had aqquired a secret weapon at Alexandria's expense.

Alexandria's midnight blue eyes roamed across the faces of the women surrounding her until she found the woman in question. Xena stood next to her Queen, arm casually hanging across the bard's shoulder with an easy smile gracing her striking features. Alexandria had to admit that this was the most relaxed she had ever seen the dark haired warrior.

_She was certainly never this relaxed with me, _Alexandria thought, no longer bitter, just resigned to the fact that she was not meant to be with the Warrior Princess or the Amazon Queen for that matter. It had been hard over the past week, since she had brought Xena back to life. Their silent journey back to the Amazon's had been nothing compared to having to see her everyday in the village though. Everyday seemed to get harder and harder as they were forced to spend more and more time together. She had made a desperate attempt to avoid the warrior, but to no avail. She had been unable to resist kissing her the first day and she was deeply regretting it now. She couldn't stop thinking about how soft the woman's lips were and how much she had missed them. How much she had missed her h-

"Dinar for your thoughts?" A soft voice whispered in the red headed woman's ear, breaking off her train of thought. _Thank the Gods, _Alexandria thought to herself, shaking her head to rid the images of the dark haired warrior from her mind. She turned to Varia, flashing the woman a brilliant smile before shrugging.

"Just the next couple of days, I guess," Alexandria replied, taking a sip of the strong Amazon ale she held in her hand.

"We're going to win," Varia said confidently. "We have the Battling Bard of Potedeia, Xena, The Warrior Princess and Alexandria, The Angel of Death on our side. How can we possibly lose?"

"The Angel of Death," Alexandria sighed, gazing blankly in front of her as images of her past flashed before her eyes. "I haven't heard that name for a while."

"Wash name hasn't you heard for a whiles?" Alexandria turned to find Eponin standing beside her, leaning against a tree to keep her balance in her intoxicated state.

"Just something from my past," Alexandria chuckled as she observed the drunk woman with amusement, her somber mood disappearing. "You look like you could use a bed, friend."

"Yes, you do, Ep," Varia grinned as she wrapped her hand around Alexandria's arm. "And you, Alexandria, need to dance with me. Now."

Alexandria opened her mouth to protest but decided against it as she let herself be dragged towards the dance floor.

Xena gazed around the village center as the Amazon's around her drunk themselves into oblivion. She smiled as she felt her lover's fingers gently caress her through her leathers and she lightly stroked her partner's hip in return. She caught a flash of dark red hair and watched as Alexandria was dragged by Varia into the large group of Amazon's dancing in the middle of the clearing. Her smile grew as she watched the two women start to dance and Alexandria's face light up in a carefree smile.

_Gods_, she thought to herself as she observed the red headed warrior. _I haven't seen her smile like that since we were kids._

Her smile vanished as she remembered the horrible things she had put Alexandria through in the past. The woman had been such a kind and loving person until Xena had crushed every good emotion Alexandria had. She had destroyed her. She had destroyed their relationship and even worse, their friendship. She had spent the last week thinking of every possible way she could win the woman's companionship back. She missed the woman's friendship more than almost anything. She had been the one person in her past that she could rely on.

Ever since Alexandria had kissed her a few days ago, Xena had been trying to find a way to talk to the woman privately, but to no avail. They were constantly together but never alone. It seemed like everytime it was only the two of them, Alexandria would simply vanish into thin air. She had been more than suprised to find out that Alexandria still had feelings for her, even after everything she'd put the woman through. She knew in her heart that they were not meant to be together. She loved the red headed warrior and she always would. She had been her first love and after Gabrielle, her most loved but she knew Gabrielle was her soulmate. She just wished there was a way to make it easier for Alexandria. She wished she could just find a way to talk to the woman.

She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side as she continued to watch the two women dancing, an idea forming in her mind. She turned to her lover, pressing a soft kiss to the bard's temple before speaking softly. "I'll be back in a minute, love. There's something I have to do."

Gabrielle looked into her lover's pale blue eyes questioningly before giving a small nod and watching as her soulmate strode towards the dance floor. She spied Alexandria in the middle of the grinding bodies and raised an eyebrow of her own. She had seen how distressed her partner had been living in the village with Alexandria and knowing the woman wanted nothing to do with her. She had hoped that Alexandria would give Xena another chance but she was proved wrong as the red headed warrior continued to avoid Xena at all costs. She had managed to talk to Alexandria herself after they had sparred together early this morning.

_"Alexandria," Gabrielle spoke as she wiped a light sheen on sweat from her forehead. "Have you spoken to Xena yet?"_

_Alexandria looked up at her sharply, her eyes flashing with alarm at the bard's question. "Why? What has she told you?"_

_"Nothing, actually. I just noticed that you seemed to be avoiding her."_

_Alexandria relaxed, running her fingers through her short hair as she gazed at the bard. "I'm not avoiding her."_

_"Yes, you are," Gabrielle said softly, reaching out and resting a hand on her companion's shoulder. "I know that she hurt you, Alex, and I understand why you don't want to be around her. But she has changed and she really cares about you. We spoke about you last night, about how you and I met and how you and Xena travelled together. She's really missed you all these years. She said that you were the best friend she ever had, other than myself."_

_Alexandria looked down at the ground before looking up at the bard with a thoughtful expression on her face. She closed her eyes before shaking her head and giving the bard a small smile. _

_"I know she's changed, Gabrielle. I can see how much everytime she looks at you. For so long, I wished she would look at me that way and she never did. My avoiding her has nothing to do with my feelings for her. I can't deny that I love her and you know that. And you know that I would never do anything to ruin your relationship with her. I can see that you are meant to be together and I respect that. I'm happy for you both. But honestly, I just can't stand to be around her. Everytime I do, I feel empty. It's like I don't feel good enough to stand in the light that radiates from her now. I feel bad because I could never give her that, no matter how much I tried. I feel like I failed her and myself. And I can't continue to live feeling like that, so I can't be around her. Do you understand?"_

_Gabrielle nodded as she smiled sadly at the red headed woman, giving Alexandria's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Let's go get some breakfast, yeah?"_

Gabrielle didn't feel jealous of Alexandria's feeling's towards her soulmate. She could never feel anything but gratitude for the woman for bringing Xena back to her. And bringing Gabrielle back to herself a year ago in Egypt. Alexandria was her bestfriend and she always would be a part of her, she just wished that the woman could work things out with Xena. She sighed softly, knowing what her lover would hear when she spoke to the redhead before settling down to watch the scene play out.

Xena pushed through the women, finally reaching her destination behind Alexandria. She caught Varia's eye's over the red headed woman's shoulder and pleaded with her pale blue orbs for some privacy. The Amazon seemed to have an internal struggle for a moment before giving a slight nod and turning away, leaving a very confused Alexandria behind her. Xena lightly rested her hands on the woman's hips, causing the woman to start and quickly turn around, midnight blue eyes meeting ocean blue in shock.

"What are you doing?" Alexandria hissed as she pushed Xena's hands from her hips.

"Dancing and trying to talk to you," Xena replied as she swayed her hips in time to the music.

"Do you have to talk to me _right now_?" The red headed woman asked in frustration.

"Yes, Alexandria please," Xena voice took on a pleading note as she gazed into her ex lover's eyes. "I can't begin to apologise for everything I did to you, I know that, but I want you in my life. I miss talking to you. I miss fishing with you. I miss sparing with you. I miss our friendship. I miss you."

"Xena," Alexandria whispered, averting her eyes as she was no longer able to hold the warrior's intense gaze. "Now isn't the time to talk about this."

"Now is the only time to talk about this, Alexandria. Everytime I try to talk to you, you run away. And tomorrow, we're leaving here to go into a battle. There's too many things going on right now for us to talk at any other time and I need to know if there's a chance. Any chance that you and I could be friends after all of this is over."

"Xena, I can't," Alexandria replied, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic in the crowd of Amazon's. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to relax before continuing. "I can't be your friend, Xena. I love you, I really do, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because," Alexandria whispered fiercly. "It hurts too much. It hurts knowing that I couldn't be the one for you. It hurts knowing that I was never good enough. It's hard for me to see you with someone else and loving her so much that the happiness practically seeps for your skin. I'm not angry or jealous, it just hurts. I'm sorry, Xena."

Xena watched sadly, her heart aching in her chest as once again Alexandria turned and walked away from her, leaving her in a crowd of people and yet feeling utterly alone.


	20. Chapter 20

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Nineteen**

It had been a day and a half of travelling and the Amazon's were filled with anticipation as they set up camp. Gabrielle watched her people, almost five hundred women putting up tents and starting fires to cook dinner with. Despite being outnumbered by the enemy, she was starting to feel confident about the battle tomorrow. Alexandria and Xena had spent the past few days convincing her that they would leave the battle victorious. They had fewer warriors, but they had more to fight for. They had their homes and their families to protect.

_I have a family of my own to protect, _Gabrielle thought to herself with a small smile as she caught a flash of black and red in the middle of the large army camp. Alexandria and Xena stood a few feet apart from each other, directing orders at the surrounding Amazon's. It was unbelievable how well the two women worked together, despite their personal relationship. Just over a week ago, she had almost laughed in Xena's face when she told the bard that Alexandria had been her second in charge for most of her war lording years. But after the last week, watching the two women together as they planned from the upcoming war, she had started to see it. Gabrielle had seen Alexandria fight and she knew she was a warrior, but she had never thought of her as a soldier until she saw the way the red headed women was around her lover. She seemed to be a completely different person around Xena. She followed Xena's orders and directed some of her own, turning the already very capable warriors of the Amazon Nation into a force to be reckoned with.

She watched curiously as the two women that meant most to her stood together, deep in conversation before Alexandria nodded and turned to walk in the bard's direction. She smiled warmly at the red headed woman as she drew closer, receiving a small grin in return.

"Xena wanted me to come and see if you needed help setting up the healer's tent?" Alexandria asked as she came to stand in front of the Amazon Queen.

"It's almost finished," Gabrielle replied, turning around to walk towards the tent with Alexandria falling into step besides her. "How's the rest of the camp doing?"

"It's going well. Xena is being her usual Warrior Princess self and making sure everything is perfect. Dinner should be ready in just over a candlemark and then it's an early night for everyone."

Gabrielle nodded absentmindedly, turning her head slightly to steal a glance at her friend. She was so grateful that the warrior was still here, willing to help them even though Gabrielle knew she'd rather be anywhere else.

"Thank you for staying, Alexandria," Gabrielle said softly as Alexandria met her gaze, her midnight blue eyes sparkling in the dying sunlight. "I feel so much better knowing that you're going to be by my side tomorrow."

"Despite what you may think, My Queen, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Alexandria smiled, reaching out to take Gabrielle's hand and squeezing it gently.

"You know you always have a place with the Amazon's, if you decide to stay when the battle is over," the bard said, keeping contact with Alexandria's hand.

"I know," Alexandria replied. She turned to Gabrielle as they stood outside the healer's hut, giving the woman a small smile. Gabrielle had been giving her hints for days that she didn't want her to leave the Amazon's, even going as far to say that they could travel for a while together if Alexandria wanted. She had actually been considering it, not wanting to leave the bard even though she knew that Gabrielle would be safe with Xena. A small part of her also wasn't fond of leaving the dark haired woman behind when she left either. Though, she would never admit that out loud.

"Let's just get through tomorrow, and after that, we'll see where things take us," Alexandria said, squeezing the bard's hand in her own. "After all this is over, we'll take about it, okay?"

"You promise?" Gabrielle asked hopefully.

"I promise."

After the sun had set and the camp had become peaceful as the Amazon's had turned in for the night, Xena slowly made her way to her own tent. She was exhausted after spending the past few candlemark's setting up the rest of the camp and she wanted nothing more than to curl into bed with her lover. Finally reaching the Queen's tent, she pushed the door flap open and walked inside, spying her lover already lying on their cot.

She smiled, standing in the doorway gazing at her lover in adoration. Before she had died, she'd realized she'd taken her soulmate for granted and she wasn't going to make that same mistake again. From now on, Gabrielle came first. Before the greater good, before anything. She was the most important thing in her life and she was going to make sure the bard knew that.

"Hey," Gabrielle said, looking up from the parchment she was reading when she noticed her lover had entered their tent. She smiled lovingly at the warrior and put the scrolls down beside her, reaching out her hand to her dark haired lover.

"Hey yourself," Xena said softly, taking her partners hand and sitting down on the bed besides the bard. She lifted Gabrielle's hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to the even softer fingers. "What are you looking at?"

"Just the final battle plans," Gabrielle sighed, caressing Xena's cheek with her free hand. "You and Alexandria have really out done yourselves."

"Yeah," Xena replied, starting to unbuckle her armor only to have her hands pushed away to be replaced by smaller more gentle fingers. "I just want this to be over already, so we can go home and spend some time alone together. Just you and me."

"Me too," Gabrielle said as she removed her lover's breast plate and put it carefully on the floor besides the bed. "Xena?"

"Hm?"

"I asked Alexandria to stay in the village with us after this is over. Maybe travel with us afterwards. I know I should have talked to you abo-"

"What did she say?" Xena asked, interrupting her lover as she turned to the bard with hopeful eyes.

"That she'd think about it, but she seemed to really be considering it," Gabrielle smiled as she unbuckled the shoulder straps of Xena's battledress.

Xena returned her smile before standing up and pulling her leathers from her body, leaving her clad only in her white shift. "That would be nice."

The warrior crawled into bed besides her lover, pulling the bard closer until Gabrielle was practically on top of her. She caressed the thigh that was thrown possessively over her hips and pressed a soft kiss to the blonde head on her shoulder.

"I love you so much, Gabrielle," Xena whispered, nuzzling her nose into the bard's hair and breathing in her intoxicating smell.

"I love you too, Xena."

"I was wondering, when we get back to the village," Xena felt her throat tighten with emotion, unsure if now was the time to bring up this conversation. She'd been holding it off for years, waiting for the right time but it never seemed to come. She had wanted this to be romantic but she needed to ask, just in case something happened tomorrow.

"You were wondering what, Xena?" Gabrielle asked softly, leaning up on her elbow to look down at her lover.

"I know this isn't really the time or place to ask, but I'm over waiting. I've made some really big mistakes in my life, but none as big as leaving you behind. When I died, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I realize now that I wasn't. You're the best thing in my life, Gabrielle and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you and have children with you and just love you until my last breath. So, I guess what I'm saying is… Gabrielle, when we get home, will you marry me?" Xena rushed the last part, becoming suddenly nervous of her partner's answer. What if she had waited too long? Did Gabrielle even want to get married? Especially to her. Did Gabrielle trust her enough to marry her? Did she think that Xena could be truly committed to her? The warrior knew she could be. She loved Gabrielle more than anything and she wanted to spend her life with her soulmate. But after recent events, she wasn't sure what Gabrielle wanted.

"Yes."

"I understand, Gabrielle. It's o- Wait. What?" Xena asked, her eyes wide in shock. She had started to convince herself there that the answer would be no.

"Yes, a million times yes." Gabrielle whispered, her eyes welling up with tears of joy as she looked down at her lover.

Xena grinned, her heart feeling like it was going to burst with happiness and love for her soulmate. She tangled her fingers in Gabrielle's hair and pulled her down into a loving kiss. She held the bard tightly against her, never wanting to let go. She wished desperately that the battle was already over so she could take Gabrielle home and marry her right now.

"I didn't think it was possible to be happier than I already am, but you've proved me wrong, love," Xena whispered into her lover's hair.

"I will spend the rest of my life proving you wrong about that," Gabrielle replied, pressing a soft kiss to her partner's collarbone before settling her head back on Xena's shoulder. She wanted more than anything to start proving it right now in more physical ways, but she knew they both needed to rest before tomorrow. She closed her eyes with a contented sighed and cuddled impossibly closer to her love.

"Goodnight, Xena."

"Goodnight, my love."


	21. Chapter 21

_Authors Note: We're quickly coming to the end of this story. This is the first Xena fanfiction that I've written and the one with the most twists and turns, with many more still to come in the last couple of chapters. I've loved the support and the comments I've gotten since I started this story cause it's been a hard one to write. The last few chapters will be written in several POV's. I hope you guys enjoy it! If you want to send me comments through email, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Twenty**

"I'm scared."

Alexandria turned towards the woman beside her with a frown. Gabrielle looked the picture of confidence and strength, every bit of the Amazon Queen that she was. She was dressed in full Amazon armor, sitting on top of a large white mare with a fierce army at her back. An army of the most capable fighters in the world all ready to die for her. What did she have to be scared of?

"Gabrielle," Alexandria said softly, leaning over to rest her hand on the bard's thigh. "You know I won't let anything happen to you, right?"

Gabrielle laughed softly, closing her eyes as she took Alexandria's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's not me that I'm scared for. It's everyone else."

"There's going to be some casualties, Gabrielle. This is war," Alexandria said sadly. The red headed woman surveyed the army marching towards them, before her eyes turned towards the hills in the distance, where Xena would be waiting. "And Xena will be okay too."

"It just seems to be too good to be true, you know?" Gabrielle whispered as she opened her eyes to look at the red headed warrior. "I finally get Xena back, only for us to go to war. I know she's more than capable of taking care of herself, but what if it was her time? What if the One True God brought her back only for her to die again now?"

"Nothing will happen to Xena," Alexandria reassured the bard, squeezing her hand tightly as she looked into Gabrielle's emerald green eyes. She saw the fear in the woman's eyes and smiled at the blonde, trying to calm her. "If anything happens, I will be there, okay? I promise I won't let anything happen to Xena."

Gabrielle smiled back at the warrior, feeling reassured by Alexandria's promise. She knew if she could count on anyone to have Xena's back, it would be Alexandria. She never broke her promises.

"She asked me to marry her."

Both women were shocked by the sudden confession as the words slipped from Gabrielle's mouth. Alexandria stared at the Amazon Queen in disbelief, her midnight blue eyes wide. Xena getting married? The words sounded impossible as they swirled around her head, taunting her. She looked at Gabrielle, noting that her friend wouldn't meet her eyes. A slight smile played the red headed warrior's lips as she ran her knuckles over Gabrielle's cheek until their eyes finally met.

"If anyone else told me that the Warrior Princess was settling down, I would never believe them," Alexandria said softly as she gazed into emerald eyes. "I would have laugh right in their face to be honest and then maybe kill them. But knowing that it's you, Gabrielle, that she is committed to, makes it believable. If Xena was ever going to be with anyone forever, it would be you and I couldn't blame her for it one bit."

Gabrielle smiled brilliantly at her best friend, her heart filling with joy at Alexandria's words. "Thank you."

"Congratulations," Alexandria smiled, patting her friend on her thigh. "When we get home, we'll have a big party to celebrate."

"When _we _get home?" Gabrielle said softly, her voice hopeful.

Alexandria just smiled.

"It's time," said Alexandria as she watched the sun which was slowly rising over the hills.

Gabrielle nodded solemnly as she watched Alexandria urge her black stallion into a trot. The red headed woman sat tall upon her horse as she made her way down the line of Amazon warriors, smiling encouragingly at the women she passed. She turned her stallion around at the end of the line to make her way back to the Queen, and as she did, she started to speak.

"Amazons!" Alexandria shouted, so that all the women could hear her. "Today, we go into battle against King Delvin's army. This man that wants to take your land and your burn your village to the ground, all for glory! He wants to be known as the man that brought the fiercest warriors to their knees, but he will not!"

Alexandria stopped her speech for a moment as the crowd of warriors cheered. Gabrielle watched her people as they raised their weapons to fight for love. She had never felt so proud to be an Amazon Queen then she did at this moment.

"I have fought with the best of them," Alexandria said, her voice softer now as she spoke. "I have led armies with thousands of men at my command, but I have never been as proud as I am today to fight besides all of you. I may not be an Amazon, but you are all my sisters and I would gladly die for every single one of you. Some of you may die today, but it will not be in vain. Because today, we do not fight for power or glory. We don't fight for gold or respect. We fight for your homes and your families! We fight for love! We fight for your Queen, Gabrielle! We fight for a strong Amazon Nation!"

"To a strong Amazon Nation!" The warrior's roared.

Alexandria grinned as she rode back towards Gabrielle, giving the Queen a wink as she dismounted from her horse. She handed the reigns to Eponin who took them with a smile before mounting the stallion.

"Do you really have to lead on foot?" Gabrielle asked worriedly as Alexandria stroked the stallion's neck soothingly.

"You know I do," Alexandria smiled reassuringly at the bard. She sighed softly, giving the horse a final pat on his neck before walking over to squeeze Gabrielle's thigh affectionately. "Take care of yourself out there, my Queen."

"I will," Gabrielle smiled before leaning down to brush her lips against Alexandria's forehead. "Thank you so much, for everything, Alexandria."

Alexandria swallowed, her throat suddenly tight as she was overcome with emotion. She looked up at the woman who had come to mean so much to her over the past year before pulling her down into a tight hug. She ended it as quickly as it started, nodding to the woman before moving to her position besides Varia.

"Are you ready?" Varia asked, a feral grin on her face as she did lazy figure eights with her sword.

"Always," Alexandria replied.

_"To a strong Amazon Nation!"_

Xena heard the Amazon's cheer from her position in the hills. She walked to the edge of the cliff where she had a clear view of the two armies below her. They were in the middle of a massive clearing on the edge of the Amazon borders, surrounding by mountains. It was the perfect place for a battle, especially for the Amazon's. Delvins army would have no where to go once Xena made her appearance. His army would be crushed.

_"Amazons! Fire!" _Xena's hypersensitive hearing picked up Alexandria's voice as she gave the order to start the battle. Less than a second later, at least five hundred arrows flew through the air and towards Delvin's men.

_"Fire!"_

_"Fire!"_

_"Fire!"_

Xena watched, a feral grin on her face as Delvin's army continued to fall from the onslaught of arrows from the Amazon's. At least one third of his army had fallen already and Xena started to wonder if she would be needed for this battle at all.

_"Amazon's! Charge!"_

Xena watched as Alexandria led the warrior women into battle. She truly looked like a force of nature, completely in her element as she raced towards Delvin's men. She felt a sudden stab of fear as the woman drew closer to the enemy. What if something happened to Alexandria or Gabrielle before she got the signal to attack? It would be so easy for Alexandria to be impaled on the front line by the enemies spears.

She soon realised she had nothing to worry about. She watched, completely in awe as Alexandria finally reached Delvin's army. Alexandria used a man's shield to leap into the air, pulling both of her swords from her back mid flight and took down several men before she even hit the ground. She felt the familar bloodlust race through her veins as she watched Alexandria expertly cut down the many men surrounding her.

Satisfied that Alexandria would be okay, she turned her head to search for her lover. With a start, she realised that Gabrielle was already engaged in battle. She had split up the Amazon cavalry and attacked Delvin's men from both sides. She smiled proudly as she watched her soulmate give orders to her people while taking down her fair share of men. She was so caught up in making sure her lover was safe, she almost missed her signal.

With a grin, she mounted Argo and turned towards her own small army of Amazon warriors.

"Let's go give your Queen a hand, shall we?"


	22. Chapter 22

_Authors Note: We're getting closer to the end! The next two chapters are of the battle then the next chapter will be the last. The story has already been completed, though there will still be a day or two between posts just to add to the suspence! Once again, I thank you all for sticking with through this story and I love the comments I've been recieving. If you want to email me, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Twenty One**

Gabrielle eyes followed Alexandria as she raced down the hill, her feet hardly touching the ground. She watched as almost half of her Amazons followed her, each of them releasing their own unique battle cry. She fiddled nervously with the hilt of her sword as they finally hit the front line, easily batting away the spears pointed at them and crashing into the enemy with their swords drawn. She watched in awe as Alexandria shot down a man on the front line with her bow before she vaulted herself off his metal shield as he fell and landed somewhere in the middle of Delvin's army. She couldn't see the red headed warrior, only the bodies falling around where she guessed her friend was.

"Alessia!" Gabrielle called to one of her warriors before making the hand signal to start their own attack. She took her half of the cavalry around one side of the battle while Alessia took the other half in the opposite direction.

"To a strong Amazon Nation!" Gabrielle cried as she raised her sword and charged into the unsuspecting army, successfully boxing them in. She tried not to look at the faces of the men she cut down with her sword as she made her path towards where Delvin was in the middle of his army. She hated war more than anything in the world, finding it meaningless and a complete waste of life. It was something she couldn't avoid though. She was an Amazon Queen and if war is what it took to defend her Nation, then she would fight until her dying breath.

She felt the air leave her chest as a man vaulted himself through the air and threw her off her horse. She hit the ground hard and quickly forced herself to stand. She swung around, finding a dagger that had stopped inches from her throat. She stepped back in surprise as her attacker fell to the ground, Eponin standing behind him with a wild grin.

"Thanks, Ep," Gabrielle breathed as she threw her sword to the ground and pulled her sais from her boots, feeling more comfortable with her usual weapons.

"No problem, My Q-"

Gabrielle watched in horror as an arrow hit her friend in the heart, killing her instantly. Her mouth dropped open as Eponin crumpled to the ground at her feet, her brown eyes staring up at her lifelessly. She had no time to think of it further as she blocked a blow aimed for her leg, tears blurring her eyes as she fought off her opponent.

"Oh, Ep. I'm so sorry," She whispered as she took one final glance at her friend before throwing herself into battle.

Everything was a blur. All she knew was blood and death as she cut a path through the neverending amount of men. She deflected a blow aimed to her head before slicing through her attacker's throat, grimacing at the blood that sprayed onto her armor. Turning around, she glanced at the faces of those around her, searching for her friends. Varia was a few feet away, a feral grin on her face as she toyed with a soldier before ending his life. Satisfied her bestfriend was okay, she looked for the Queen.

She snarled as she saw the blonde being over powered by several men at once. She must have been thrown off her horse, Alexandria thought to herself. Where was the royal guard? She ran towards Gabrielle before flipping through the air to land besides her.

"Having a little bit of trouble, my Queen?" Alexandria teased as kneed a soldier in the stomach before cracking him on the side of the head with the hilt of her sword.

"Oh, shut up, Alexandria," Gabrielle growled. "Have you given Xena the signal yet?"

"She should be here any sec-"

Alexandria and Gabrielle both grinned as Xena's battle cry echoed through the clearing before using King Delvin's men's suprise to their advantage. They took down the rest of the men surrounding them and then turned their heads to watch Xena as she raced down the mountain and into the battle. Her raven black hair whipped around her face as she sped towards the battle. Her blue eyes seemed to spark with electricity as she bared her perfectly white teeth in a feral grin.

"Now, she looks like the Angel of Death," Alexandria mumbled, earning a raised eyebrow from Gabrielle. Alexandria shrugged her shoulders, turning back to watch Xena as she flipped off of Argo and landed in the middle of a group of soldiers.

"Alexandria!" The red headed warrior turned back towards where her Varia was fighting off a group of men with a spear she'd picked up off the ground. "A little help?"

"Are you going to be okay?" Alexandria asked Gabrielle, resting her hand on the bard's shoulder.

"Of course," Gabrielle replied with a smile, cracking a man in the chin with her sai almost absentmindedly as she spoke. "Go save my regent's ass."

Candlemarks seemed to fly by as Alexandria continued to fight. She had suffered several small cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. Breathing heavily, she turned in a circle and surveyed the clearing, feeling her heart break at the amount of death that surrounded her. She was thankful though that she counted very few bodies that belonged to the Amazons, though she almost lost her breakfast as she stumbled over Eponin's lifeless body. A sob caught in her throat as she leaned down, closing her friend's dark brown eyes before taking off her cloak and covering the woman with it.

A flash of silver caught her eye and she turned to watch Xena fighting off several men. She looked magnificent, even covered in blood and gore. A man was running towards her back, arm's held high over his head, holding a sword. She waited a few moments, expecting Xena to throw her chakram and take the man out, without even looking, but it never came.

"Xena, no," Alexandria whispered.


	23. Chapter 23

_Authors Note: This is the second to last chapter. The last chapter will be posted in the next couple of days. This chapter is told from four different POV's as I wanted you to see all the reactions to this part of the story. If you want to email me, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Twenty Two**

She didn't think, she just ran.

She was a blur of colour as she raced past men and women in the midst of battle, her feet hardly touching the blood soaked ground. She paid no attention to the warriors that fell to their deaths around her, all she could see was the sword moving in slow motion towards Xena's exposed back. She knew there was no time to block the blow, there was only one way to stop it in it's deadly path.

She had made Gabrielle a promise. She had to take the hit.

She wasn't scared as she had expected to be, but she didn't feel brave either as she took the final leap, skidding into the space between Xena and her attacker. She heard someone scream her name but she paid it no attention as she waited. Less than a heartbeat later she felt the cool steel pierce her back and indescribable pain shoot up her spine. She inhaled sharply, breathing in the scent of Xena's hair without meaning to while also alerting the dark haired woman to the person behind her. She smelt of sandalwood and blood. It was kind of wonderful.

Xena spun around gracefully, swinging her sword with a feral smile on her lips. The smile softened as she caught the midnight blue orbs of the woman behind her. The sword slowed, only barely nicking Alexandria's skin, causing a tiny trail of blood to run down the red headed woman's neck. Xena's eyes widened in shock at the wound, and her knee's almost gave way as her eyes travelled down her friend's body, only just noticing the sword sticking out of her friend's abdomen.

"No," Xena whispered brokenly, her sword falling from useless fingers. "No, not again..."

Neither woman noticed Alexandria's attacker drop dead to the floor behind them, an Amazon spear impaling itself in his thick neck. Nor did they hear the tortured scream that followed it.

They continued to gaze at each other, both too shocked to move or speak. After a few moments of stunned silence, Alexandria tore her eyes from the pale blue before her and looked down at the sword sticking out of her gut. She fell slowly to her knees as her legs collapsed beneath her at the sight. This scene was all too familiar, besides the spot in which she was wounded. _Just a little higher and it would be like deja vu,_ she thought to herself. Once again, she was on her knees, in front of the former Destroyer of Nations, her life blood draining from her body.

But she didn't feel sad or angry, she only felt peace. She'd completed her mission.

_"It will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do, but you will find what you've been searching for. You will find peace."_

Everything was happening so fast and she could feel the adrenaline surging through her body as she hacked away at her opponents. She grinned wildly as they fell beneath her sword. She felt the darkness clawing at her insides and she let it show in her eyes as she ran her sword through a man's throat, listening to him gurgle as his lungs filled with blood. She tried to keep her eyes on her friends to make sure they were all right. She could see Gabrielle fighting some soldiers with Alexandria and she breathed a sigh of relief. At least Alex was looking after her lover so she knew Gabrielle would be safe.

She continued to fight, hearing footsteps racing towards her as she cut off one of her attacker's arms. She listened gleefully as he screamed, blocking out all the other noises around her. That'll teach him to fight the Warrior Princess, she thought to herself smugly as she kicked him in the chest and watched as he fell to the ground. She stiffened as she heard a gasp from behind her and swung around to slit her new opponents throat.

_Trying to take me from behind, you cowa-_

Her eyes widened as she gazed into midnight blue eyes and quickly pulled her sword back to avoid slashing Alexandria neck. She was horrified as she still managed to nick the skin, watching as little droplets of blood ran down her ex lovers throat. That could have been so much worse, she thought to herself guiltily as her eyes watched the blood trail down Alexandria's skin. It seemed to happen in slow motion as the blood dripped off her collarbone and as she watched it fall to the ground she finally noticed the sword sticking out of the red headed warrior's abdomen.

"No," Xena whispered as her heart stopped in her chest. "No, not again."

She watched as Alexandria fell to her knees, gazing down at the sword in her stomach and before she knew it, Xena was on her knees in front of her. She reached out shaking hands, attempting to stop the blood that flowed from the wound but she knew in the back of her mind it was hopeless.

"Xena," she heard Alexandria rasp and she looked up into her ex lover's eyes. "It's okay."

"No! No, it's not, Alex. I can't," She choked, her throat tightening as she was overcome with emotion. She let the tears leak from her eyes as she gazed at her friend, her heart breaking in her chest. "I can't lose you again. I just found you. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"No, this is exactly how it should be," Alexandria whispered as blood starting to drip from her lips. She used all of her remaining energy to raise her hand and caress Xena's cheek. "This is exactly how I always wanted it to be, Xena. When I died all those years ago, I was so angry when you killed me because this is how I wanted it. I didn't want to die by your hand but I did want to die for you. This is how I wanted it, Xe."

"It's not how I wanted it," Xena sobbed, resting her forehead against Alexandria's as the woman slumped forwards, her strength escaping her as quickly as the blood from her wound.

"I know," Alexandria breathed as she looked into the pale blue eyes she loved so much. "I know and I'm sorry. Just remember that no matter what happened between us and what happens after this that I love you, Xena. I love you and I forgive you."

"By the Gods, Alexandria," Xena whispered as she closed her eyes. "You can't leave now. I'm about to get married and you're supposed to be there. Gabrielle really wants you to be there with us. She told me this morning when we woke up that maybe we should leave the Amazons and go somewhere and build a house. She was telling me how we could have a room just for you when you visited us. Or live with us if you wanted. You're her bestfriend, Alex and you are mine too, don't you know that? You always have been, you and Gabrielle. You need to live for us both, you hear me? You need to live.

Alexandria?"

She opened her eyes and gazed into the midnight blue orbs in front of her and felt her heart ache with grief. The once so bright eyes were now dull and lifeless, looking back at her but not seeing the pained expression on her face.

"Alexandria?" She sobbed. "Alexandria?"

She pulled her once bestfriend's head against her chest, holding the woman tightly against her. Her head dropped back and she looked up at the cloudless sky, wondering how it could seem to be such a beautiful day when it was truly so horrible. She opened her mouth and screamed her pain into the Heavens.

As she struck down another soilder, she quickly glanced at the battle surrounding her. She felt an immesurable amount of pride for her fellow Amazons as she watched them defend their land. As she watched their enemies fall to her sister's swords, she knew they would be celebrating a victory tonight. Against all odds, they were going to win this war. With courage and determination the Amazons fought and as far as she could see, they had suffered very few casualties.

"Alexandria!"

Gabrielle felt her blood run cold at the screaming of her friend's name, turning quickly to find the source. Her eyes fell on Varia, her dark hair wild and her face a mask of horror. She followed the Amazon's vision and she felt her heart stop in her chest.

"No!" She screamed, her eyes wide.

She watched as Alexandria leaped in front of a sword aimed at Xena's back. The blade plunged deep into the red headed woman's back and out through her abdomen. Gabrielle felt a sudden surge of relief as she remembered that her friend was immortal and couldn't be injured, let alone die.

"Thank the Gods," Gabrielle breathed, more thankful now than anything that Alexandria had protected Xena against what would surely have been a killing blow.

She heard a tortured scream and frowned, looking towards Varia who was now running towards Alexandria, her face contorted in anguish. She didn't understand why Varia was so upset; Alexandria would be fine. Any second now, she'd pull the sword from her belly, turn towards her attacker with an menacing grin and kill him.

She was shocked to find the attacker already dead, a spear sticking out of his neck. But what suprised her more was that Alexandria had fallen to her knees and Xena had knelt down in front of her, her face horrified.

She was missing something. Something was wrong, something she couldn't see.

And then finally she noticed the blood that was dripping from the sword sticking out of her companion and covering her soulmate's hands as she tried to stop the flow.

_No, that's impossible. She can't be hurt, she's immortal. This is all wrong._

A memory from over a week ago flashed in her mind and she gasped, her heart shattering in her chest.

_"What did you trade for me?" Xena asked Alexandria._

_"Nothing of worth," Alexandria replied softly, averting her eyes._

Tears streamed down her face as she started stumbling towards the injured woman before she started to run. Her feet pounded against the muddy ground as her heart beat thudded in her ears. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion as she watched Xena pull Alexandria against her chest and a pain filled scream was ripped from her throat. She felt Xena's pain mingle with her own and she knew the truth as she gazed at her soulmate and the lifeless body of her bestfriend.

She slowly fell to her knees beside her lover and pulled the dark haired woman into her arms. She felt the tears continue to slip from her eyes as Xena buried her face into the bard's neck, sobbing uncontrollably. Resting her cheek against the dark hair, she stared down at her friend and ran her fingers through Alexandria's short locks. She knew there would be casualties in this war but she had never expected this. Alexandria had been the one person she could truly count on after Xena had died. She had never thought this day would come, never thought it possible that she would lose Alexandria. This couldn't be real.

But as she gazed down at the red headed warrior and looked into the midnight blue eyes that always searched for her in a crowd, it hit her like a ton of bricks. Alexandria was gone and those eyes would never search for her again.

Stabbing her spear into her opponent's chest, Varia smiled grimly before kicking the body from her weapon. She looked to her left, searching for Alexandria who had been fighting besides her moments ago and frowned at the woman's disappearance. She caught a flash out of colour out of the corner of her eye and followed it.

It happened so fast that all she could was scream her bestfriend's name. The woman paid her no attention as she slid between the sword and Xena's body, impaling herself on the weapon.

"NO!" Varia screamed her voice hoarse as she threw her spear, watching in satisfaction as it buried itself in the sword bearer's neck. The satisfaction only last for a moment as she watched Alexandria slowly fall to her knees.

She ran as fast as she could towards her bestfriend, praying the whole time for some sort of miracle. Miracles happened to good people, didn't they? Alexandria had been brought back before and so had Xena. Maybe she would be all right. Maybe Varia would get there and when they pulled the sword from her back, the wound would magically disappear. Her step faultered as Xena pulled Alexandria's head against her chest and filled the air with an inhuman scream. She sounded like a wounded animal and out of the corner of Varia's eye, she could see the fighting stop for a moment as everyone looked for the cause.

She slowly fell to her knees as Alexandria hair was pushed away from her face by Xena's blood soaked hand and she saw the lifeless eyes gazing back at her. Varia sobbed as she crawled the last few feet to her friend, resting her cheek against the woman's cooling shoulder as she cried. She hardly noticed as her Queen fell to the ground beside her, wrapping her arms around Xena's broad shoulders.

All she knew that her bestfriend was gone and she no longer cared about the outcome of this war.


	24. Chapter 24

_Authors Note: This is the last chapter! I wasn't going to make it alot longer with more details towards the end, but I thought I would leave that for the sequel. The sequel is going to be quite different from this story, alot darker so on and so forth. Also, it's going to be alot more about our two favourite girls. I haven't given it a name yet and it probably won't be uploaded for a week or more but I promise it will be good. Good if you like the darker stories, that is. I'm really thankful to everyone that followed this story with me. It was the first one I started writing and the longest and probably the hardest. There were alot of twists that I left uncovered for the next story. If you want to email me about this or ask about the sequel, my email is jacklavigne13 hotmail .com_

**In Need Of A Friend**

**Chapter Twenty Three**

Even in the middle of the mighty battle, the news of Alexandria's death was soon heard by all. The woman that had become good friends with many of the Amazon's and an ally to their Nation had died. The Amazon's were ruthless as they battled their enemies and soon the war was over. The women picked their way through the bodies of their dead enemies to retrieve the bodies of their sisters and made their way back to camp. The air was thick with sadness and the Amazon's knew that there would be no victory party tonight.

Gabrielle had left her lover's side to help her sisters despite her own grief. She had lost many friends today and the victory felt empty as she walked through the many dead soldiers that littered the ground. She hated war and she wished that it hadn't had to come to this. So many senseless deaths. She knelt down next to a cloak covered corpse and removed the material she knew to be Alexandria's from Eponin's body. She fought back a sob as tears trailed down her cheeks as she caressed her friend's cold cheek. She looked up to find Varia standing above her, her own dirt covered face stained with tears.

"Let's get her back to camp," Varia said softly, leaning down to gently pick the top half of Eponin's body off the floor.

"Where's Xena?" Gabrielle asked, her voice strained as she picked up Eponin's legs.

Varia said nothing as she tilted her head and Gabrielle looked across the clearing to watch as Xena carried Alexandria's body back to camp. She had the red headed warrior's body cradled against her like one would a child and Gabrielle felt her heart break all over again. She knew that despite their recent strained relationship, Xena had cared for Alexandria deeply. She remembered all the talks they had as they laid together in bed over the past weeks since Xena had been brought back to her. Alexandria had been Xena's first love and the dark haired woman had carried her guilt over killing her ex lover for so many years. It had been one of her biggest regrets. She had hoped to repair their friendship and now those dreams were destroyed.

Gabrielle herself was hurt deeply by Alexandria's death. She had taken the woman as a lover if only for one night, after spending over a year travelling with the woman. Though, she knew she would never love her like she did Xena, she had still loved Alexandria. She had been her support and her closest friend since her soulmate's death. She knew that if Alexandria hadn't found her in the desert in Egypt, she would surely be dead by now. And Alexandria had given her the greatest gift, she had brought Xena back and now she was dead for it. She'd truly given her life for Gabrielle's happiness.

They made their slow journey back to the quiet camp and rested Eponin's body with the other deceased. There were at least thirty other Amazon's that Gabrielle counted in the large hut. Alexandria was not among them.

Gabrielle walked out of the tent, her grief weighing heavily on her heart as she searched for her lover. She finally found her not far from the Amazon camp at a small lake, cleaning Alexandria's blood stained body. She knelt down besides her lover and ran her fingers through thick dark hair.

"She died for me, again," Xena whispered, her voice cracking as she leaned into her soulmate's touch.

"I know," Gabrielle swallowed, her throat tight. "I saw."

"I don't understand," Xena said, turning to her lover with pain filled eyes. "I hurt her so much and eventually, I killed her. She gave up forever to bring me back to you and then she died, taking a sword that was meant for me."

Gabrielle closed her eyes against the ache in her chest. She truly didn't understand it all herself. She knew that her lover was hurting but she didn't know how to comfort her. The words that usually seemed to come to her in moments like this had vanished. "She loved you very much, Xena."

"Why?" Xena asked softly as she turned back to look at the red headed warrior that lay in front of her. "I was so horrible to her. I don't deserve what she's given me."

"She saw that you had changed," Gabrielle said as she rubbed her partner's back soothingly.

"Have I?"

Gabrielle's eyes widened slightly as she looked at her lover who refused to meet her eyes. She could see the emotions that swirled in the pale blue orbs as Xena stared down at their dead friend. Her shoulders were tense as her hands squeezed the cloth she had been using to clean Alexandria's body.

"Of course you have," Gabrielle whispered as she stroked Xena's hair. "When Alexandria and I spoke after you were brought back to life, she told me that she hadn't lied to me. She hadn't lied because she didn't know you, Xena. The woman she knew had been dead for years. You're not the warlord that killed innocent people anymore, that woman is gone."

"Sometimes, I don't think she is gone, Gabrielle," Xena's pain filled whisper broke Gabrielle's heart as the woman she loved finally turned to look at her with shame filled eyes. "This morning when I road into battle on Argo, I felt that dark side creep back up inside of me and I let it. I enjoyed myself as I killed those men. And when Alexandria came up behind me, I almost slit her throat before I realised who it was. I was so overcome with my darkness, I could have killed her myself and not even realised. That could have been you, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle forced down the shudder at her lover's admission. Xena's dark side had always terrified her. She had been on the receiving end of it more times than either of them cared to remember. She found that she had no words once more to comfort her soulmate. Instead, she brushed the back of her fingers against her partner's tanned cheek and gave her a sad smile.

"The funeral pyres should almost be ready now. Alexandria never told me what she wanted if this ever happened. I never thought..." She let the rest of her sentence fade as she looked down at the red headed woman. She didn't feel the overwhelming emptiness she had felt when Xena had died, but part of her heart felt missing as she realised that Alexandria was truly gone.

"I think she would be honoured to have an Amazon funeral," Xena whispered as she gazed at her lover.

"I think so too," Gabrielle replied with a small smile, squeezing her soulmate's forearm.

They stood in a large crowd in front of a row of funeral pyres. Thirty six of her Amazons had died bravely in the battle against Delvin and now they laid before her, covered in oil to help their bodies burn. She was grateful that there were only thirty six since she had expected the number to be somewhere over one hundred. Xena and Alexandria's battle plans had worked as they had hoped. Still, they had all lost dear friends and her heart ached. She stood in front of her people, directly in front of Alexandria's pyre. Xena was standing on her left while Varia was on her right, though she wasn't standing. The strong Amazon had crumbled to the floor when Gabrielle had signalled for the guards to light the fires. As she looked down at her regent, she wondered not for the first time if there had been something going on between Varia and Alexandria. Even if it had only been one sided.

She watched as Alexandria's pyre caught alight before closing her eyes and listening to Xena's voice. She was singing softly, her strong voice catching every few moments which told Gabrielle that her partner was attempting not to cry. Xena was too proud to cry in front of the Amazon's, but Gabrielle was not. She let her tears fall as she sent a prayer up to the Heavens.

_Let my Amazon's find peace and give Alexandria what she's been so desperately searching for._

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't realise Xena had stopped singing until she felt her lover's arms wrap tightly around her waist. She leant back against the dark haired woman, letting Xena support her as she opened her eyes to watch the flames lick greedily at her friend's bodies.

"Are you okay?" Her lover's low voice whispered into her ear, sending warm shivers down her spine.

"No," She replied softly before turning in Xena's arms to look up into the eyes she loved. "No, but I will be. Because I have you."

Xena smiled sadly before pulling her lover tightly against her, burying her face in the short blonde locks. "Alexandria was a good friend to you."

"She was a good friend. To be honest, I think she was sent to me. It's the only was I can explain it," Gabrielle said as she rested her check against her partner's chest, listening to her steady heartbeat. "I needed something, someone and she saw that. I was in need of a friend and she gave me that. She gave up everything for me. Her own search for redemption, her immortality and even her life. She made me a promise, Xena."

Gabrielle felt her lover tense slightly in her arms and pulled back to look up into questioning blue eyes. "What did she promise you?"

"She promised she wouldn't let anything happen to you and she didn't."

She watched as Xena turned her head away for a moment and looked at the pyre that burned before them. Her lover's face was blank, almost cold but her eyes flickered with emotion. She could clearly read the guilt that swirled in the deep blue depths as her partner tried to come to terms with this new information.

"I owe her everything," Xena whispered as she turned her gaze back to her soulmate. "Because she brought me back to you."

Gabrielle smiled softly before leaning up on her tip toes to press a tender kiss against her lover's lips. As she buried her face in Xena's neck, she closed her eyes and prayed to the God's that nothing would ever take her soulmate away from her again.

If only she had known who would hear that prayer, she would never have sent it at all.

As the two soulmates held each other in their arms, neither of them noticed the ashes from their friends pyre float up on the breeze and into the air. Nor did they hear the soft evil laughter that surrounded them shortly after.

**The End**


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